take care

forty three

Dearest Penny,

Something changed. I don't know what happened, but ever since I went on that date with Alyssa I've felt so much.. I don't know how to explain it. I wouldn't say I'm happy but it's something else...

I think the best way to put it is I'm finally moving on. I no longer feel the need to hold onto Harry. Yeah it still sucks that we've broken up, and yeah he still had a piece of my heart, but I know now that it's time to let him go. What we had, even as short as it was, was beautiful. We really were in love. Both of us knew from the start that it probably wasn't going to work out. I don't think either of us were expecting it to blow up that soon, but it was for the best. It's going to be difficult during the wwa tour, but we'll make it work. Louis will have my back, and though I don't think it will happen immediately, Harry and I might even be able to be friends again.

Well the last line was kind of bullshit, but still, the point is still there. I'm tired of loving someone who doesn't love me back and will never be my prince in shining armor.

This is turning out much more depressing than I originally hoped. It's hard letting Harry go, but I know it's right.

I told Eleanor and Louis about this. They were both very supportive, though I could tell that Louis was a bit sad. He was really rooting for us the whole time, he never would've thought it would have ended like this. Then again, no one had.

In other news, I called Zayn. We made plans and we decided that I need to give Eleanor and Louis a break (they never complain about me being there, but I know that they want time for themselves... plus I heard them having sex the other night and tbh I was a bit mortified) so I'm going to spend the night at his. It sounds stupid and childish, but I'm really excited to sleep over at Zayn's. His house is so cool! It has graffiti everywhere and they have animals are running around all over the place. When Perrie's there, which honestly I'm kind of hoping she will be, she makes scalloped potatoes and they are so good.

Sometimes I don't really know why I write you these letters. I know that you're dead, Penny. I know that you will never physically receive these letters. I guess it's just easier to write down my feelings then to face them head on.

So yeah. Unless there is a sign from God tomorrow that there is still a chance for Harry and me, I'm sticking with that plan,

Take Care,

Niall xx

P.S. Did I really say tbh? God, what am I doing with my life?

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A/N Hello hello hello! How are you all? Did you guys have fun on Halloween? I went to a wedding so that was nice. I don't really have much to say here. OH MY GOD THIS STORY IS ALMOST OVER MY LITTLE BABY IS GROWING UP T-T Oh and you guys should follow my second account WrongIdea (Do you get it? Lol, I'm so punny :P) I have a Michael Clifford story planned for it as well as some other pretty cool shit. This chapter is dedicated to sadbeautifulcarla because I'm in love with her stories at the moment.