Surviving the Harrison Boys (Re-write)

seventeen // crybaby

The moment Blake and I entered the house, I said goodbye to him and ran into the kitchen. Luckily Hanna and Liam were the only ones in there, because if any of the others had been in there when I looked the way I did, I probably would've started crying even more.

"Hanna," I sobbed and her head snapped in my direction. Her eyes widened as got up from her stool and ran to me, pulling me in a tight hug and stroking my hair.

"Shh, honey, it's all right. Breathe." She cooed, and continued to until I had calmed down and was 100% positive I wouldn't burst into tears again.

"What happened?" Liam asked gently as Hanna sat me between them.

"I just...I...holy shit, so many memories just came back all at once." I shook my head.

"What memories?" Hanna squeezed my hand.

"Memories of my father," I looked up at the ceiling, "and what he did to me; how weak and helpless I felt. Everything just came back and it was so fucking scary."

Hanna and Liam both sighed. "Hunter, what did he do to you?"

"Fuck," I cursed as a tear trickled down my cheek. I guess I wasn't 100% right. "So much. He did so much, and every time I told him to stop, he wouldn't. He'd only do it more, and it hurt so bad."

Hanna gasped quietly, probably realizing what I was getting at. Liam's fists clenched and Hanna started crying. "Hunter, did...did he rape you?"

I nodded without a word. Hanna let out a shaky breath. "A lot?"

"Hanna, you can't ask her that." Liam snapped.

"We need to know, Liam!" She cried. "We need to know how bad this actually was."

"When she's ready, she'll tell us." I thought he would start crying as well. "Right now, Hunter isn't in that position to tell us what happened to her while she was living with her parents. This is a conversation for another day."

Hanna looked at me and kissed my forehead gently. "You come talk to us when you're ready, you hear me?"

I nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

***

After a few hours alone and many more tears, I felt much better than I did before. I didn't feel like crying, and after a couple of tries to make sure I was 100% okay, I left my bedroom and headed up the stairs to the music room. I opened the door slightly, making sure no one was in there before fully entering and closing the door behind me.

I walked over to the piano and sat down, running my finger over the keys. I eventually pressed a chord, and remembered a song that went with it. I played the song's three chords over and over before actually beginning to mumble the lyrics quietly.

"Shadows settle on the place that you left," I sang, "our minds are troubled by the emptiness."

"Destroy the middle, it's a waste of time." A deeper voice sang quietly behind me. I turned to see Reece standing a few feet away from me. "From a perfect start to the finish line."

I faced the piano again. "And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones. 'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs."

"Setting fire to our insides for fun." Reece came and sat beside me. "Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong, the lovers that went wrong."

I took my fingers off the keys. Reece didn't say anything.

Finally, he let out a quiet sigh. "Cody came out to me."

"He did?"

He nodded. "He came home and was crying, like really crying. I haven't seen him cry in years. My parents were asking him what was wrong, and he wouldn't answer. I followed him to his room and he said that he was gay and that he caused you to have a panic attack and he was just so scared, Hunter. I've never seen him like that in my entire life."

"So what do you think?" I asked quietly.

Reece shrugged. "Hey, he's happy. That's all that matters to me. As long as he doesn't change, then I love him the same."

I sighed. "I don't think you understand how relieved I am to hear you say that."

"Why?" He raised an eyebrow. "Cody's my little brother. I'm going to support him in anything he does or whatever decision he makes. Him telling me he's gay isn't going to make me freak out and disown him or call him names. As I said, I still love him the same."

"He was afraid you would disown him." I frowned. "That's why he freaked out on me. He didn't want me telling Blake because he thought that Blake would be the first to disown him, then he'd come home and tell everyone else and you guys wouldn't love him anymore."

"Why does he feel like that?" Reece looked hurt.

"He said you guys are strict-ass Christians." I shrugged. "I mean, you can be Christian and accept homosexuality, you can be Christian and not accept homosexuality. I personally think that it's all really based on your personal beliefs and how you view the Bible. I don't know, don't start quoting me on any of this because I'm not exactly the biggest religious person."

"Neither am I, to be honest." He said. "And I like that perspective."

I smiled a bit. "Where is Cody, anyway? I want to talk to him."

"In his room, I think." Reece said. I nodded and stood to go when he grabbed my hand. "Be gentle, okay? He's still pretty shaken up about telling me."

"I will," I promised. I left the music room and headed down to the floor with the bedrooms. I walked down the hall to Cody's room and knocked.

"Who's there?" A voice wearily called.

"It's Hunter," I said, "Cody, you okay?"

He opened the door a bit. His eyes were red, and faint tear tracks were visible on his cheeks. I frowned and pushed the door open a bit. Cody let out a sob and fell into my arms. His weight knocked me down to the floor, but I held him tightly as he gripped on to my shirt.

"I'm so sorry." He sobbed and looked up at me. "Hunter, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." I whispered. "It's not your fault."

He climbed off me and sat beside me, wiping his face with his shirt. "Were you with Reece?"

"Yeah,"

"Did he say anything to you?"

"He said that he doesn't care that you're gay and that he still loves you the same." I explained quietly. Cody didn't look at me.

"Really?" He whispered.

"Yes, really." I rested my head on his shoulder. "Cody, I know coming out is going to be really hard for you, but Reece and I are here if you need any help, okay?"

He nodded. "I'm going to tell my parents next." A small sigh came from him. "I know how I want to do it, too."

"Are you going to need help?"

"Support, maybe, but I'll set everything up myself." Cody found my hand and laced his fingers with mine. "Thank you so much, Hunter."

I smiled. "You're welcome."