Surviving the Harrison Boys (Re-write)

seventy-one // supermarket flowers (hunter's pov)

later that week : thursday, the day of the funeral

***

I genuinely thought that waking up this morning would've felt like any other regular day. Since the news of my mother's death, I hadn't felt any type of emotion towards the whole situation. I hadn't cried, I didn't feel sad, nothing. Sure, I was empathetic because she was my mother, but I wasn't showing normal signs of grief and I think that scared me more than it scared anyone else.

But when I woke up this morning, I felt heavy. Everything about me. My arms, my legs, my soul. I felt heavy and tired. As I got ready, I was furiously blinking, trying to get my very dry eyes to water. I had never had dry eyes before. This was strange.

Reece tried cracking jokes like he usually would, but nothing was funny. He had even retold jokes that he knew would have me in tears whilst rolling on the floor, but nothing worked. Not even a little smile. I had even attempted to force myself to laugh, but who was I going to kid? Reece knew me well enough to know when I was faking and when I was being genuine.

The plan was to meet up at my old house before driving to the graveyard. The family had decided to not have a priest or anything truly religious at the funeral, because we didn't want to deal with the judgement and shade because of the way my mother died. I had grown up going to church up until after Theo's funeral, and I knew some of the views Christianity had on topics like suicide. I knew not every Christian was like that and wasn't going to judge, but you're never too sure about who you're going to get stuck with. We just wanted to save ourselves from unnecessary hassle.

Reece, Hanna, Liam, and I met in the lobby of the hotel. I almost expected Hanna to go all out and look extra, but she wasn't. She was in a simple black halter dress with a sheer black shall slung over her shoulders. She had tied her hair back in a bun (with a black scrunchie), and had included all black accessories. She looked beautiful, I couldn't deny. Liam and Reece wore all black suits.

My dress was a long-sleeved "skater" dress. The neckline was cut low, but not so low to be deemed as inappropriate. I almost, almost, wore black converse, but Reece convinced me otherwise and I went with little black heels. I hadn't really bothered with my hair and left it in its natural wavy state. I truly struggled to do my makeup. I don't know what happened, but I felt almost no motivation to get it done, but I did and kept it simple.

Hanna walked up to me and took both my hands into hers, squeezing them tightly. Tears welled up in her eyes and she took a deep breath, tucking some tufts of my hair behind my ear. "You look beautiful," she choked out.

"You as well." I whispered. With that, the four of us exited the lobby and caught a cab, heading to my old house. On the way, Reece send me a text.

this is going to be really hard for my mom. bare with her, okay?

i understand. they were best friends.

Reece glanced at me and I shrugged. By the time we arrived, everyone else was already there. Grandma and Grandpa Harrison were already crying. My dad seemed out of it, the same way he was the day we met, and although Grandma Peters wasn't blood, she was crying, too. Lia was wiping a tear every now and then.

"Are we ready to go?" Grandpa Jamieson asked. Everyone gave their "yes" and we headed out. Dad, Lia, and I rode in one car.

"Are you still singing?" Dad asked quietly.

"Yeah," I said. It would be the first time singing in front of an audience in a long while. I couldn't lie and say I wasn't nervous.

Lia leaned forward and placed a hand on my shoulder. "You're gonna do great, honey."