Surviving the Harrison Boys (Re-write)

twenty-three // confessions

I went downstairs into the living room where Hanna and Liam were sitting, along with Brant and Dean. I smiled at the two eldest Harrison brothers before tapping Hanna's shoulder gently.

"Can we talk?" I whispered. "About, uh, me?"

"You?" She whispered. "Is everything all right, honey?"

I nodded. "Yes, well, no, but, yes. I don't know, I just...I have a lot on my chest right now and it's all becoming a bit overwhelming."

"Okay, okay, of course." She stood and took my hand, taking me downstairs. I didn't even know they had a basement.

She entered a code into system and opened a door, turning on a light to reveal an office/woman cave sort of room.

"It's my little 'get away from all the testosterone' room." She explained with a small laugh. "You're welcome to come down here any time."

"Thank you." I said and took a seat on the leather couch. Hanna locked the door before joining me. She placed a gentle on my leg.

"All right," she let out a huge sigh, "start from the beginning."

"The beginning?" I chuckled half-heartedly and thought back for a moment. "Goodness, life was great in the beginning. My family and I were so happy. My brother was the star football player of his high school, and I was star student of the first grade. My parents had good jobs and were making equally good money."

"Did you say brother?" Hanna asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, I had an older brother named Theo. He was eleven years older than me, but I swear we were the closest pair of siblings you could ever come across. I loved him so much."

"Where is he?"

"Dead." I replied. "Drunk driving accident after he took his football team to provincials and won."

"Oh no," she gasped.

"Yeah, needless to say that my parents and I were devastated." I bit back the tears at the memory of my older brother. "But the day we found out he was dead was the day things went downhill. I was six when he died, but I specifically remember my father looking down at me in such disgust and saying that it should've been me, that Theo would've been worth something unlike me."

Hanna sighed and closed her eyes, shaking her head. "Oh my goodness."

"Now is usually the part where they would start drinking and beating me mercilessly, but that all didn't happen until I was nine." I leaned back on the couch. "For those three years in between, my mom and I did our best to pick ourselves up again and move on without Theo. My dad sort of stayed stuck in the past. His only son was gone, and a son was all he wanted. He never really wanted me. I was supposed to be a boy, hence why my name is Hunter."

I sighed. "So uh, one day after I got home from school, my dad was sitting at the kitchen table, smoking. That wasn't new, he'd smoke all the time. Anyway, I was dead tired that day and ended up crashing on the couch before doing my after school chores. My dad woke me up with a slap and glass of ice water on my face. He stood there, screaming at me for almost half an hour, telling me how useless I was, how it was my fault Theo died, how it should've been me, etcetera. Then I apologized profoundly and promised to do them right away, but he said I needed to be punished first."

"Punished?" Hanna repeated slowly.

"Punished," I said, "but when he said punished, I thought he meant like a grounding or something, but it was more, um, severe than a grounding. That was the first time."

It took Hanna a moment to register what I meant before her eyes grew wide. "Hunter, you don't mean r–"

"Don't say it, please." I pleaded. "I hate that word."