Surviving the Harrison Boys (Re-write)

seventy-nine // jealous

"I'm jealous of the rain, that falls upon your skin. It's closer than my hands have been. I'm jealous of the rain.

I'm jealous of the wind, that ripples through your clothes. It's closer than your shadow. Oh, I'm jealous of the wind.

'Cause I wished you the best of all this world could give. And I told you when you left me there's nothing to forgive. But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was heartbreak and misery. It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way you're happy without me.

I'm jealous of the nights, that I don't spend with you. I'm wondering who you lay next to. Oh, I'm jealous of the nights.

I'm jealous of the love, love that was in here. Gone for someone else to share. Oh, I'm jealous of the love.

'Cause I wished you the best of all this world could give. And I told you when you left me there's nothing to forgive. But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was heartbreak and misery. It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way you're happy without me.

As I sink in the sand, watch you slip through my hands. Oh, as I die here another day, yeah. 'Cause all I do is cry behind this smile.

I wished you the best of all this world could give. And I told you when you left me there's nothing to forgive. But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was heartbreak and misery. It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way you're happy without me.

It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way you're happy without me."

A few days had passed after my conversation with Hanna, and I stood at the entrance of the music room, wanting to go in there and work on my own music, but stopping at the sight of Reece at the piano.

I knocked on the doorframe and he turned around, looked at me, and then just turned back around. I walked in slowly and kind of stood a couple feet behind him.

"Hey," I tucked my hands in my pockets.

He didn't say anything. He pressed down the the middle C softly.

I approached him and sat beside him at the piano. "I heard you playing. That song, it was beautiful. Did you write it?"

He nodded.

"It was amazing." I gushed.

"Why are you here?" He asked suddenly.

"What?"

"I have a lot of shit to work on and finish. Why are you here?" He snapped.

I winced. "Reece, are you okay?"

"Don't ask me if I'm fucking okay!" He slammed his hand down on the piano. I jumped up.

"What is wrong with you?!" I shrieked.

"You're wasting my time now the same way you have since you got here!" He was so angry, he was nearly the colour of a fucking fire truck. "I invested so much of my time and patience and my love into you and all you do is throw it all the fuck away."

"What are you—"

"Don't play dumb, Hunter." He hissed. "You know I've liked you since the moment you got here. I tried everything, but you were so caught up in your own little head and your own fucking problems that you were too blind to see. Pulling that depression shit and nearly driving my parents to the point of insanity. And the second that bitch Oliver comes jumping into the picture you go and run into his arms. Like are you kidding me?!"

"Don't call him a bitch!" I snapped. "And don't you dare try to play fucking victim. You knew from the beginning that I wasn't sure if I felt the same way, especially after the kiss on the deck. Yes, that kiss we shared in the hotel room was wrong. I shouldn't have led you on like that and I'm sorry, I really am, but don't twist this around like I owe you anything."

"You owe this whole fucking family." Reece growled menacingly. "You wouldn't know Oliver if it wasn't for us. You wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for my mom. You'd probably still be living in that shithole in Rochester."

"I don't owe you shit." I snapped. "Am I grateful? Entirely. I will forever be grateful, but that doesn't mean I owe you or need to repay you. Your mom wasn't forced to bring me here. She did it out of the kindness of her heart."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "You know, I came here to apologize. For the kiss in the hotel room, for rejecting you the first time, for leading you on when I should've just been straight up with my feelings from the beginning. I came here to tell you that at one point, yes, I did like you, but I was scared because of your mom.

"You're the support system I didn't know I needed. You were my best friend. You literally convinced me to go back a place I never thought I'd return to and meet people I would've never met on my own. I'm grateful to you for that, and I forever will be."

Reece didn't say anything.

"I don't know why it took me so long to see that I really do like you. With my whole heart." I sighed. "As fucking corny as it sounds, I guess I was afraid of letting myself fall because of how hard I've already fallen, and after everything I've been through I didn't want to invest my energy into something that was just going to turn around and hurt me again."

The two of us sat in silence for a couple minutes. He reached out his hand to me and I took it. "I'm sorry for what I said a moment ago. You know you don't owe us anything, and I would never disregard your mental health like that. It's important, and I'm sorry how I lashed out about it like it was your fault. That was seriously uncalled for."

I nodded. "Thank you for apologizing."

More silence. Reece finally sighed and used his free hand to push back his hair. "I like you a lot, Hunter. I've fucked up a lot in my past relationships. I've been done dirty so many times. Trying to convince myself that I didn't like you just so I wouldn't have to deal with my emotions was the hardest battle I've ever had with myself. I promise I won't fuck this up if you give me the chance. If this is going to happen, then I really want it to work."

I squeezed his hand, and after a few minutes of thinking, I nodded. "I really want this to work, too."

He sighed and smiled a bit. "With that being said, did you wanna go out sometime?"

I smiled. "I'd like that a lot."

***

DOUBLE UPDATE WHAT??

i bet the chapter title threw some of y'all off hehe.

so it's official. #runter is a thing. WHOOP WHOOP.

originally, i had written this chapter with a much more negative context (all the way back in may), and it made hunter realize that she didn't want reece and that it was oliver she really wanted. i added this whole metaphor in my personal life so my runter shippers would understand why i made holiver the official couple of this book, but i have much more runter shippers and sometimes you just gotta give the people want they want.

looking back now, i'm glad i changed my mind. i have some very cute ideas for hunter and reece. not for this book tho (*le gasp* yes y'all will get a sequel).

LOL ALSO, if i have any readers that read the first version of this book from like, four years ago, do y'all remember when i made the love triangle between hunter, reece, and TRENT and she ended up with trent in the end because reece convinced her to and said he'd wait for her in case anything happened?

eighth grade me was wildin', wowza.

ANYWAYS, as always thanks for being super supportive readers and being so patient with me and just being the absolute bestest.

i love y'all to the moon and back, forever and always.

—mj xx