Selfish ~ Trevor Jackson

I'm Ready If You're Ready

It's all good. It's all happiness. Why? Last show and I get to go home to my sweet daughter and take a year long break. "Brooklyn... Is my hometown. It's where I grew up and where the music in me blossomed. So this show, is really special. I love you Brooklyn, this one's for you," I put up a peace sign and the lights went out. I hopped onto the white piano for a new song I had been working on and waited for the pianist to begin playing.

Even Trevor didn't see this coming, although I couldn't see him I knew he was watching from backstage in awe- like I could feel his eyes on me, even from a distance.

The crowd was silent as they waited. A spotlight shone on me, the piano started, and I sang, "Boy, I'm ready, if you're ready, now. Ooh, as i'm ever gonna be. If you're with it, then I'm with it, now, to accept all responsibility. I'd go out of my way to live by the words that you say. I don't wanna be the same."

I had been working on that song for the past month. I mean, everyday I felt like Trevor was lifting me out of my physical body that was covered in anger and selfishness and placing my soul into a new one. Trevor felt like an angel at some times, there was just a spirit in him that couldn't be ignored- a spirit that stopped time. Maybe it was God. I've never been religious, but I dunno things don't feel normal with Trevor.

I finished the last note and watched as the curtain began to close. I waved goodbye, took a bow, and then gracefully walked off the stage. I went backstage and accepted the multitude of pats on the backs and thumbs up. I swerved other physical contact and sped to Trevor's dressing room.

Just as I went to knock, the door swung open and he towered over me in a wife beater and black slacks clutching a water bottle in his hand. He lifted me up after staring at me for a few seconds and exalted me while twirling in circles.

"Why must you always pick me up?!" I yelled wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Because you're so little and cute," he replied kissing my forehead.

"Not a child. Anyway, what do you wanna do now? Do you wanna fly home together or ride with everyone else?" I asked biting my lip.

"Let's fly home together," he said with an open mouth smile. I smiled back and motioned him to follow me. "Where are we going?" He took my hand in his and sped up to remain along side of me.

"You'll see," I answered entwining our fingers. He bit his lower lip to hide his smile as I took him up the stairwell.

For some odd reason he looked abnormally attractive and there was this glow about him, weird how things change. I mean, the song I stood in front of an audience and sang was all about change and how I want him to change me. How I'm ready, or at least how I think I am.

I pushed the rooftop door open and a cold breeze hit our faces as we welcomed ourselves onto the roof of the stadium. "Woah," he said letting my hand go. He stood at the edge and gazed about with a sparkle in his eye.

"Beautiful isn't it?" I asked folding my arms along my chest.

"Gorgeous," he answered. I joined him at the edge and looked out shivering slightly from the cold.

I pointed at an area full of lights, "I grew up over there," I said.

"Wow," he replied wrapping his arm around me. "Ya know, I'm happy you agreed to be my girlfriend,"

"Are you?"

"Yeah... Don't think I wanted anything or anyone so bad in my life..."

"I have,"

"What was it? Or who was it?"

"Sardines when I was pregnant with Leanni," He leaned his head back and let out a loud guffaw while clutching his abdomen and stomping his feet. I giggled at my own joke and took a step back then looked down at my feet.