Selfish ~ Trevor Jackson

Furthest Thing From Perfect

I squatted down while placing my free hand on Danny's zipper and began to twerk. "Pour it up, pour it up!" I sang giving sexual looks to the crowd. Trevor and the other male dancers gaped at me as the beat slowly deteriorated and my twerking slowly came to a stop. "Yo where my rude boys at?" I smiled and flipped my hair as I got into position for the next song. The beat to Rude Boy began to blast through the huge speakers and the female dancers exited the stage while I and the male dancers began the routine.

I moved my body to the beat and sang along with all that I had. I'm no half ass performer, I give it my all or nothing at all. I gotta keep the checks coming, ya digg? Anyway, Trevor had this uncaring look in his eye when we grinded on each other which wasn't like the normal spark he got when he looked at me. I don't know what I did to make him look so dull, but it gave me this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.

And that feeling didn't go away. After the show was over, I went straight to my bus to get some cool air and waters. I assumed that Trevor was with the rest of the crew getting their traditional midnight/late as all hell dinner at whatever restaurant was around laughing it up like he didn't have a care in the world. I sat on my bed and sent a skype call to Chris' lap top.

His nose ring showed first and then his blonde and blue hair appeared directly after. When did he dye part of his hair blue?! "Where's Leanni?" I asked looking around him.

"Hey, I'm doing fine thanks for asking, bae, you're so considerate," he replied. I narrowed my eyes at him a soon as he called me 'bae' here he goes trying to woo me. He slid the lap top over and Leanni smiled at that camera whilst waving around her dolls.

"Look at what daddy bought me, mommy!" She shouted excitedly.

"I see, I see," I replied with a chuckle. "Did you watch Uncle Sean's FaceTime of my performance?"

"Yeah, it was great. But tell Uncle Sean to stay still and stop screaming. I couldn't even hear you, all I could hear was him cheering," she said.

I laughed heartily, "I've told him that dozens of times before, Lee Lee. Maybe he'll listen to you."

"We should do this more often,"

"Do what?"

"This!"

"Me leaving you?!"

"No, mommy! I mean letting me visit daddy more... I missed him a lot,"

"Maybe, Lee Lee,"

"Please! Daddy's being good and watched movies with me and played dress up and tea party and--"

"I SAID MAYBE, LEANNI!! STOP!!"

I saw the tears well up in her eyes and her jaw go slack as she stared at me, "I'll talk to you later, mommy. I'm sorry I made you upset."

"No, no, Leanni. Momma's sorry, I didn't mean to--"

"I love you, momma,"

Her face left the screen and I was staring at a completely dark Windows Surface. I put my head down and massaged the wrinkles in my forehead - she's too young to understand, I told myself. There was an unexpected knock on my door and instinctively I got up to get it just to see who it was. I wasn't planning on letting anyone onto my tour bus, but if it was someone important (aka Sean) then is let them on.

Not exactly to my surprise, it was Trevor standing in front of the door with Jamaican food in both of his hands and two cream sodas between his fingers. He was wearing a wife beater and grey Tommy Hilfiger sweatpants with Construction boot Timberlands.

"Come on! Let me in!" He shouted. "I know you hear me!! And I know you're really hungry right now!!" I curled my lips to the side and decided to open the door for him. I moved to the side and watched as a really attractive yet irritating smirk formed on his lips. He walked up the steps and made himself at home on one of the couches.