Souls You Can't Save

Happy

*beware, this might make people angry, read at your discretion*

It's been 2 weeks since we became State Champions. Thanksgiving is this Thursday. But so much has happened in those two weeks. 

The first few days after State were pretty uneventful. I might even venture to use the word boring. I started staying after school to work on mini flags for the band banquet. On Tuesday, I got bored with sewing, so I went and talked to Mark for a while. Eventually, he told me he was leaving, and taking Lincoln to McDonalds with him, because apparently Lincoln owed him food. I ended up going with them, and screaming "Sweet Home Alabama" at the drive thru window. After Mark got his food, he showed us how his console could change colors. I guess you could say it was lit. (Hahahahaihatemyselfhahaha).

He drove down Lincoln's driveway. As Lincoln was getting out of the car, he asked Mark to roll down my window. I gave Mark a look of "what the hell is going on?" and he just smirked back at me. 

I turned around, and there he was, through the window, hugging me.
"Hey, do you wanna be my girlfriend?"
I felt my face get as red as humanly possible.
"....yes...."

He hugged me again, and walked away. 

I whipped around to look at Mark. 
"Did you...why....what did you do???"
He smiled, backed up the car and said, 
"I told him to stop sending mixed signals and grow a pair. Never thought he'd actually take my advice."

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So far, this past week since we started dating has been eventful. I will refrain from all detail, but every moment has had a new surprise.  

I promised myself that I would never become 1/2 of those gross straight couples that are always all over each other and spend all their time possible together, but I did. I spent so long being frustrated about him, now that we're together, I don't want to be apart. Through him just in the past week, I've made new friends and new bonds. I like being near him, because he may be an idiot, but he's my idiot. I love his humor, and the way that he can make me laugh at four am when everybody needs to die. I love his hair, and the fact that it always smells good. I love the way he thinks, because it reminds me of myself. I just love a lot about him. 

Somewhere, nagging in the back of my mind though, is her. I can't get over the fact that we ended up in such a negative spot. She never believes that I cared, or even that I still do. She doesn't believe that I loved her, even though I ruined my life for her. She just doesn't believe me in general, and that's why I can't text her back. I don't want to argue. I want to be happy. And I'm happy right now. And I'm sorry that she's not. 

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The band banquet was a night full of things that I don't want to forget. Nevaeh, Mark, Lincoln, and I accidentally coordinated outfits without realizing it. We created masterpieces with the scratch-off masks they gave us. I indulged on stuff from the chocolate fountain. My mom came up to me and whispered "Is this him???" while Lincoln and I were the only people at our table. Our parents sat right across from each other and still managed to be oblivious to us dating. 

Nathanael Prince gave us the speech, "Stalling is an eight letter word, that comes from the root word stall, which means to procrastinate. To give an example, I am stalling while we try to make this technology work.". Zach Glanzer came up on stage and said, "Just to be clear, my name is also spelled wrong on this award, and while we all love Mrs. VK, we must admit, she's a little dyslexic sometimes. My last name is Glanzer, G-L-A-N-Z-E-R. It is most definitely not Glazner. My name is Zachary G-L-A-N-Z-E-R.". Connor Kiel went to the podium and conducted part of first scene in the very (extremely) out of tune voices of our band. Band don't sing. 

Altogether, the night was definitely memorable, and it's one to put in the memory book. 

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IT'S SUNDAY!!!!! GUESS WHAT TOMORROW IS? MONDAYYYYYYY!!!!! 

I don't really despise Mondays anymore, because I usually end up wearing sweatpants and napping on Lincoln during lunch. A couple days ago, I had the awkward privilege of meeting one of his brothers during band. He sat 6 chairs down from me during band class, and gave me weird looks the whole time. On Wednesday, I get to meet the rest of his family, because his grandparents live next to me and they're all going there for Thanksgiving. It should be eventful. 

I spent three hours of my day in the freezing cold, in the middle of a forest, in the middle of nowhere, chopping down invasive species for Key Club. Key Club is a community service club (that looks really good on college applications). 

I was working with Michael, one of my old acquaintances, who has henceforth, annoyed the shit out of me. It was actually pretty fun to work with him though. I said at one point, "Michael, I don't hate you. You just annoy me.", to which he replied, "It's okay, you annoy me too.".

We have a mutual annoyance agreement. 

Someone tried calling him while we were working, and he got out his phone and said "I am chopping down invasive species in the middle of nature on a Sunday afternoon to better the well being of my planet. Nature is more important than you.". That statement made me laugh so hard, one of the thornbushes I was chopping down stabbed me in the butt, which made me laugh harder. We finished our work, and were finally free to go home and unfreeze our extremities.

I have spent the last 5 hours underneath 7 blankets trying to regain feeling in my toes. I also rewatched the Reichenbach Fall, which was an absolutely TERRIBLE IDEA. 

Sitting here now, underneath these blankets, I am content. Maybe cold, but content. And for once in my life, I can say I'm happy, and truly mean it. 

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hooooooly shit, I'm sorry because this chapter is going to make people mad, but i had to write because i felt productive and ya know, i write about important and significant events in my life so. 

im sorry. 

peace kiddos.