Is Wattpad a good or bad thing? Are the people on here writers or do they just think they are? Whatever your answer to those questions there are a lot of mysteries surrounding Wattpad and the people that choose to write here. Every day thousands of...
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It was my birthday a few days ago (Yeah, you missed it, there was cake). Amid the many well wishers on that day was Wattpad. Yep, Wattpad took time out of its busy day to wish me a happy birthday and send me an email with a link to "The 35 books that will change your life". For a moment I was impressed. I thought maybe Wattpad developed some program that would pick out books I really might be interested based on all the books I had written and all the stories I had voted or commented on. How hard could it be right? You could print out a nearly complete psychological profile based on someone's choices of books and in particular the books they have written.
Well, no. It was just a link to 35 books that someone at Wattpad came up with and somehow decided they could be placed on list of books that could "change your life". I want to assume the list was just mislabeled, but knowing Wattpad they were probably serious about it.
First of all, most of the books on the list had millions and millions of reads. That almost guarantees it was book about bad boys or vampires, and I can almost guarantee you that as a 53 year old ex-homicide detective I hardly ever think about bad boys or vampires. Ever. Never will probably and unless I somehow magically get transformed into a 15 year old girl with acne things will probably stay that way.
I was going to post the link they sent me here just now but all of a sudden the link does not work. It worked a couple of hours ago. Good timing there Wattpad. Lucky for me there is this thing called "screenshots".
I can almost categorically guarantee you that a book about "Confessions of a Gay Disney Prince" is not going to change my life. If anything it will solidify my stance as a heterosexual male who loves Marvel movies and not Disney movies. Hold on. Okay I was just notified by my daughter that Disney owns Marvel now. I don't know what to think about that. But I swear if Captain America switched sides I am boycotting him and the Avengers. Some things are sacred.
And the one about "Fifty Shades of Drake" seriously just makes me want to throw up in my mouth just a little bit. Kidding. A lot. A whole lot. I'm talking target vomiting like that girl in the Exorcist movie. Come on Wattpad it's my birthday!
Oh and "Kim Kardashian: Trapped in her own game"? Kill me now. No seriously. You might as well send one of your Wattpad assassins. Don't deny it. I know you have them. You've already killed good writing and literature as we know it. lol . Sorry, could not resist that one.
Look Wattpad. None of these books could ever change anyone's life, at least not for the better. Simply pulling books out of your butt to put on a list because they have millions of reads will never mean that they are any good, let alone life changing! It was a horrible list to include under that title. How anyone with half a brain could think that any of these books could change a life is just beyond all reason. You're just lazy Wattpad. There are many books on Wattpad at this very moment that could change someone's life. Some of them are fiction, but most fall under non-fiction. Maybe your "list" makers can go take a peek over there once in a while.
Speaking of works that might change your life. Me. Yep, mine. Go read them Wattpad. Oh, yeah and these guys. They are amazing writers and poets. There are more out there. I even have a book about them. Go read Wattpad. No one needs it more than you.
