Chasing Wattpad

Sprinkles are for Winners...

"Sprinkles are for winners"- Flo from Progressive Insurance

This isn't a contest. It really isn't. But many of you treat Wattpad that way. You are out to get as many votes as that other person. You hope your story gets as many read as this or that. Stop doing that crap! You can't compete with this or that. Wattpad doesn't work that way. You are only in competition with yourself and the big Wattpad computer in the sky. You and Wattpad itself are your worst enemies. 

Because your story does not get as many reads as any other story has little to do with content. Both you and I know that some of the worst crap ever written in the entire history of the written word has appeared on Wattpad and gotten a million reads and votes. It happens every day. Wattpad is not a reservoir for literature. It's just a place to put words. 

I want you to try something. Make a new story. In this new story tag it with the following tags; vampires, werewolves, Starbucks, LGBT, erotica, YA, suicide, evil, dragon, paranormal, Sherlock Holmes, One Direction, Justin Bieber, sex, love, fanfiction, and blah blah blah crap like that. Put as much crap as you can. Then make a cool cover. Or better yet have some teenager do it for you (they are experts). On the cover have some half naked male model vampire kissing some half naked female model vampire (or werewolf, eww gross). Have one of them holding a cup of Starbucks coffee and the other holding a gun. One of them should have tattoos. And neither of them should be over 20 and they should be leaning up against some sports car they could never afford. That should do it. Open a chapter and don't write anything in it.  Or, if you do make it as incoherent as possible and do not write over a 7th grade reading level. Congrats, you're a Wattpad pro. You're a winner. You get Wattpad sprinkles.  If you don't get a million reads in a month you have issues and need to just stop what your doing and seek professional help.

Listen wackadoodles (yes, I called you wackadoodles, deal with it), if you really like to write and want to go somewhere with it get off Wattpad.  Write on your own for you. Get off Wattpad. You are not competing with anybody here other than yourself and the algorithms on the Wattpad computer. Why not get off Wattpad and compete against only yourself? Those odds are better aren't they? 

There is no bigger truth that I can tell you. You will do your best writing when you get off Wattpad and other sites like it. You need to move your writing forward. You need to go into the real world and write. You love writing. You need to share it with everyone (or nobody) and not everyone is or wants to be on Wattpad. Or if you don't want to move in to the real world of writing then at least get out of here and write for you. Try it for you. Many of you are winners at writing but want the sprinkles (real sprinkles, not Wattpad sprinkles).

I know you want the sprinkles.  Many of you will never get the sprinkles if you don't get out of here. There are no sprinkles here. 

Real sprinkles are for winners, and winners don't live their writing lives on Wattpad. Don't cry. They really don't.