No there isn't a movie called "Chasing Wattpad" in the works. Or, if there is, no one has told me about it. But if there is one I think it would be great. I could just picture it now. It wouldn't be one of those movies you pay 15 bucks to go watch. But it might be the kind you go see on "Stimulus Tuesdays" for just 5 bucks. Or maybe just rent the DVD on a weekend. Okay, probably just the kind you would go buy the pirated copy at the weekend flea market for a dollar from a suspicious looking character who is also selling corn in a cup with mayo and some unknown hot sauce.
If I made the movie I guess I would just center it around 4 or 5 Wattpadders. It would be a "feel good" movie about plain old ordinary people chasing the writing dream. Maybe they know each other, maybe they don't. Some would fail, others win big. But there would be life lesson for everyone involved. Some tragedy, some comedy, and some small and big successes. It would be an honest movie about the ups and downs of those people who dare to write. A real look at the life of the modern internet writer while he chases his dream.
I would be in it, of course. Not me personally, but my Wattpad persona. Former cop turned writer. Doesn't want to publish, just kind of does it as therapy to repress the homicidal feelings he gets every time he sees Donald Trump on TV. I am not sure who I would want to play me though. Sean Connery is too old. So is Robert Redford. That Captain America guy is too young. Well, actually, I think he is about 75 in the last movie, but he slept away 40 years of it in a block of ice so he doesn't look 75. I was thinking that guy from the "Taken" movies, but he is getting kind of up there in age too. What the hell kind of accent is that anyway? They don't even talk about where his damn accent comes from in his movies. I'm guessing the guy who plays Ant Man would probably be good fit. Good looking, smart ass, size doesn't matter kind of guy. Yep, that's me.
It would be a "B" movie of course. Not much of a budget. No red carpet walk or anything. No big showing across a 1,000 theaters nation wide. Probably just turn it over to the DVD people and the Netflix people. So there it is. Chasing Wattpad-The Movie. Coming soon to a Life Time channel near you. I can't wait!
There isn't going to be a Chasing Wattpad movie though. Not gonna happen. The Wattpad life as I know it will never make it to Hollywood. Well, at least not in a movie. I'm thinking though that for sure Wattpad will some day get a mention on TV. I'm guessing some Wattpad mention might find itself on an episode of a crime drama some day. Best guess would be either "Castle" or "Elementary" would be good fit. Some writer would find themselves dead and the evidence would point to a connection to some drama that originated Wattpad. Yeah I can picture that.
Castle, being a writer, would be familiar with Wattpad (though he would roll his eyes every time he had to say the word "Wattpad"). Holmes, on the other hand would not be familiar with it at all. I can just picture the scene:
Watson (Lucy Lu, she's hot)- What the heck is Wattpad?
Holmes-(In his cool accent)- Looking it up right now Watson. It appears to be some Canadian amateur writing and sharing website geared to prepubescent girls in an attempt to make them believe in the unlikely scenario that they can write a competent sentence. They can't, by the way. It boasts millions of readers and thousands of writers. Mostly gibberish, really. Small minds attempting to replicate equally mindless but popular writers of today's smut, chick-lit, fantasy, and something called "fan-fic", which appears to just a regurgitation of someone else's ideas. I weep for the future of our young, Watson. Literature is dead.
Watson- (scrolling through the newly installed app on her phone)- I see what you mean. Though, there is some good writing here. Did you see this "People of Starbucks"guy? He has some good detective stuff on here.
Holmes- Nonsense! It's garbage. His deductions are the very definition of amateurism and his logistical methods lack any sort of the stringent mental acumen required for accurate results. Don't waste your time with him Watson.
Watson- Well, I like him. (she then looks directly at the camera, gives that " take me to bed or lose me forever" look, and then winks).
What? It could happen! You write it then! I hate you guys.
I'm just kidding. I don't hate you guys. Actually, I came here to tell you the exact opposite.
I came here today to thank you for all the love (and hate) you have shared on "Chasing Wattpad". Except for "The Body" story, this series has had the most reads and comments than any of my other stories. I get no less than 250 reads within 12 hours of posting an update. Hundreds more trickle in days later. I really appreciate the fan base this series has. Most non-fiction and especially rants don't get much so I really have to thank you guys for reading and commenting.
I have enjoyed the dozens of comments that come to this series every single day. They are what keeps me writing it. I actually think this series is very different from other Wattpad books. This is not a "how to". It's more of "why" book. I talk about the writing "in Wattpad" experience. Both the good and the bad. I think many people appreciate that they find someone who has the same experiences that they do in Wattpad. Someone who finally puts in words what they have been wanting to say for a while. Sharing them helps us all understand what we are doing here.
There might never be a Chasing Wattpad movie. But that's okay. There is a book. It's going to keep going for a while if you don't mind (and even if you do). There is still so much to write about. Having said that, I do have 37 other stories published here, look around once in a while.
Talk to you later Wattpadders. I am going to go scoop up the movie rights to "Chasing Wattpad". I'm thinking now though it just might make better documentary than a regular movie. Hey, I can see that. A Wattpad documentary. Oh yeah.
One question though. If they made your Wattpad life into a movie, what would it be? A love story? Horror? Suspense? I know, a crime drama right? Who knows? But it's a question worth asking yourself.
While you're at it check out these guys.
Go read. There will be a test later.
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Chasing Wattpad
No FicciónIs Wattpad a good or bad thing? Are the people on here writers or do they just think they are? Whatever your answer to those questions there are a lot of mysteries surrounding Wattpad and the people that choose to write here. Every day thousands of...
