Flicker, Fade ⧫ Kellic / Ryden / Jardougall / Jalex

10 :: limousine

[march 4th]

: SO i did not meet kenny harris or anything of the sort but . he did smile at me and make direct eye contact with me. i put the video with all my clips up. dallon is looking spooky.

also expect updates every week on this from now on because i'm nearly done with writing it so that means i must put it up here. and the song is limousine by brand new and it makes me want to DIE it is so incredibly sad. jeez. (random information- it's about a drunk driver killing a 7 year old girl who was just the flower girl in her parents' wedding. i hope you're miserable.)

seven loves you so much

but do me a favor, baby

don't reply

'cause i can dish it out

but i can't take it

"Are there people in your life that you spend too much time worrying about? Do you put their mental health and safety before your own? Think about that."

Tay hadn't meant to be too deep and serious that day at the lunch table but she had brought up something that she had read in this weird article, perhaps paraphrasing it to an extent, and Jack and Ryan didn't stare at her like it was an odd thing to bring up, a topic like that, but she wanted to discuss it and rant about Avery and how much she fucking hated all the bad luck in her life and that she spent all her time thinking about Avery and really, she just wanted to break down and have someone hold her and wrap her in a blanket and assure her that she was going to be okay.

It took all she had not to say that, and instead sit blank faced at the lunch table while Ryan messed with her hair and Jack flipped a water bottle with a semi-loose cap around, splattering the table with water droplets. 

"Do you feel that way?" Ryan had cleared her throat in an only semi-awkward way after maybe thinking over Tay's badly worded question about how weird it was to always put other people first, or if sometimes everyone spent too much people worrying about each other and not enough about themselves.

"I might but I can't tell. I think it's up for other people to tell. Which is another reason that it's weird. Everything is just really weird." Ryan nodded and avoided eye contact some more while Jack did a great deal of nothing. Kellin wasn't there, making up some sort of work. All of them seemed to be as though they were holding back from blurting something out, and their wary eyes all glanced around at each other like they were in a horror movie and were waiting for something otherwise known as a jumpscare to happen and freak lots of viewers out.

"Um." That was Jack, and his voice was as hoarse as all of theirs. Maybe they could have a guessing game as to which one of them had been up late crying and screaming into their pillow. Maybe they could rule Jack out because, as he totally didn't mention on a daily basis, he had a boyfriend. No good boyfriend would let Jack Barakat spend his night screaming and crying into his pillow. "Are we getting serious?" He asked. Ryan immediately nodded as if readily throwing herself onto the train to serious land.

"Can we get serious?" Tay wouldn't object to getting serious. They all stared around again and Jack leaned back as if there was nothing serious that he had to mention, he was just being a good friend.

He was.

The silence wasn't awkward but it was the kind that audibly rang in the air, as ironic as it was. Ryan obviously had something to say and Tay was trying not to be as evident about what was going through her mind.

"Yes, right, seriousness. We're serious. Uh." Ryan picked at the nails on her left thumb. She had chipped nail polish and faded Henna on her arms. The way she looked, with her choppy, overgrown hair, decorated arms, little necklaces and bracelets adorning her wrists and neck, and old, hemp-y clothes, she looked like quite the hippy. It wasn't helped by the fact that she owned the famous Volkswagen van that usually sat in its designated parking space out in the teacher's parking lot.