Flicker, Fade ⧫ Kellic / Ryden / Jardougall / Jalex

3 :: princeton ave (&)

[december 24th]

: hey um. it's christmas eve / the first night of hanukkah and shit it was good i got a record player and. well. mayday parade tickets. and i won't lie (HA GO RADIO REFERENCE SHOOT ME) but i did cry some but holy shit i get to see my favorite band in may. wow. BUT WOW I DIDN'T SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS OR ANYTHING HEY GUYS HAPPY HOLIDAYS I HOPE IT'S GOOD AND YOU GET EVERYTHING YOU WANTED AND THE NEW YEAR ROCKS

okay i know this isn't related to this chapter but the condition disordery thing that tay's sister has is called san filippo syndrome and i only know about it bc we have family friends that lost their kids to it which is not good at all and i just wanted to write about it a bit because like. no one ever talks about it. and not many people know about it so like. look it up learn about it it's important as well to bring light to this stuff like there's no cure for it or anything it really does suck and we've donated to things to help for research for a cure but just. yeah. idk. none of that stuff is in this chapter though so idk just thought i'd talk about that a bit

ALSO i haven't mentioned this yet because i wasn't exactly sure and am not exactly sure about it but if all goes as planned this story is going to have 22 chapters. but again i don't exactly know if that's gonna happen there might be more or less so just. sit tight. cool. (nothing is cool light me on fire im seeing mAYDYAY PARADE DFUSCXKJ)

what is a man

who lays a hand on his lover

and calls it tough love

tough love?

Vic Fuentes hadn't been a jumpy person until he had, really, become a jumpy person. It wasn't as if he had woken up one day and decided that he wanted to be scared of just about everything and was going to flinch at the slightest movement that anyone made that could regard him, it had sort of developed over time but had steadily gotten worse, like his math grade. There was a sort of paranoia that hung over him; a wary glance from his dark eyes could easily show that. With the anxiousness that had become a part of his life, there was also a scorching hatred that burned deep down inside him, a hatred for himself and a hatred for the fucking monster who constantly repeated meaningless words and continued doing things that meant far too much.

Vic had grown to detest everything about his own life, because there wasn't anything he could cling on to that would prevent him from completely disintegrating into something that wasn't even him anymore . Everything was falling apart, and he was standing in the middle of the wreckage, assuring himself and everyone around him that he was fine. He got the questions almost too often, a quick glance and then an, "are you alright?" There was nothing else to say other than, "I'm fine," and nothing more. It had been that way with the people he had thought were his friends, and god, he wasn't allowed to blame them. The only person that he could blame was the person that he wasn't allowed to blame, which made things so much worse. When he had stopped answering people's texts and avoiding them outside of classes and trying to talk to them as little as possible when he did see them, of course they had asked if things were okay and maybe a few words exchanged between him and them did enough damage that he would have to block their phone numbers and get in trouble if he so much as looked at them.

All in all, being vague was always the best bet when answering questions that one didn't want to answer, and Vic knew that far too well. Of course, there was one person who never asked if Vic was okay. That person was the one who actually needed to ask that question. That one person, that stupid, fucking, idiot was sitting right next to Vic, complaining about something trivial that Vic didn't care about. In his own head, Vic sounded violent and terrifying, the person he didn't want to be but all the pent up anger inside of him was never going to go anywhere if he didn't put it to good use, so all of it was let out through petty insults and whiny complains in his own head.