22 :: flicker, fade

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[may 7th]

: WELCOME TO THE LAST CHAPTER OF FLICKER, FADE BY DEMOLITIONIERO

listen i'm so happy to be done with this story i love it but it makes me sad and i've gotta keep writing my other new stories. i named this chapter one of my four favorite songs in the entire universe, a song called flicker, fade off of an album called happiness is by a band called taking back sunday. these in here are the opening lyrics to the song and they'll be the closing ones to this story.

i'll have a super emotional author's note or whatever up after i post this, but i'd just like to say how much i love these lyrics. i don't even know how to describe it but jesus oh my god i just love them they just mean so much to me and they just show. i dont know i DONT KNOW HOW TO SAY I T I JUST LOVE THEM I LOVE THIS SONG AND ALSO TAKING BACK SUNDAY SO DAMN MUCH

if you should change your name

i'd love you just the same

and if you should run away

i would save your place

Early morning, cold breath. They walked down to a lake as the sun rose. Just like the previous night, there weren't any special colors that came with it. There didn't have to be. Apparently, Jenna and Tay had found the lake the previous night while exploring. Ryan and Brendon were asleep in the van. No one was sure if Jack and Alex had ever come back.

Vic was holding Kellin's hand, but in a way that was too tentative and a little nervous. Kellin was always distant in the mornings, Vic didn't know why, but he didn't like talking, or touching, until he had been awake for at least an hour and a half. 

"Here we are!" Jenna's voice echoed around and she giggled, looking around. A fine mist was hanging around the sky, as though pretending that the sun wouldn't burn it away as the day warmed. The lake was huge, the sides of it ringed with pine trees and rocks that stretched up high. Tay thought it looked like the lake from Stranger Things where Mike Wheeler had almost died. 

Jenna was excited, as always, and immediately chucked her shoes off onto the shore and wasted no time in jumping into the water, the splash disturbing the eerie reflection that the water made of the rocks and trees around it.

"Damn!" She screamed, laughing and shaking her wet hair. "It's cold!" Tay got in right after her, and Vic and Kellin resorted to go climbing on rocks. Neither of them had any clothes that they were willing to get wet, and responsibly, didn't have any swim trunks either. Admittedly, no one had been readily prepared for the trip.

The rocks were good climbing material, and Kellin and Vic climbed higher and higher until Vic had confessed that he may or may not have minor vertigo, so they stopped. Kellin sat down at the edge of the rock, feet over the edge, while Vic watched from a distance and hoped that neither of them would randomly fall over the edge. 

Tay and Jenna's laughs and splashes echoed up the stone walls surrounding the cliffs, and Vic finally sat down next to Kellin, instinctively reaching for his hand but only watching Kellin pull his hand away.

"What's wrong?" Vic asked immediately, wondering if he was allowed to feel a little hurt. 

"Nothing. I don't know." Kellin swung his legs over the edge and Vic gasped a little, latching himself onto Kellin's arm. Brendon's designs were dark against his pale skin, and disguised the scars that Vic could still feel. So could Kellin. And Vic let go, not wanting to, and moved himself a little further back from the edge of the cliff.

"Either let me hold your hand or stop swinging your legs." He instructed, nervous. Kellin stopped swinging his legs. It was quiet. 

"I'm not going to ever be who I was before." Kellin's voice sounded almost bored, and his eyes were following the sluggish clouds across the dusty blue sky.

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