The Advice Column I

Twenty-One

Advice Request
This person's crush asked their best friend to the dance, and their best friend might go with him even though the friend knows that this person likes the guy.

Answered Submission
Hi! :)

It seems like you're in a somewhat frustrating situation, but don't worry. We'll try our best to help you out! Although traditionally, men are expected to always ask women to do things with them, I personally don't see anything wrong with a woman asking a man to do something with her. If you like him, then why not ask him to the dance yourself? Perhaps he secretly likes you but is too afraid to admit it! That might be the reason why he asked other girls instead of you; that might be why he even asked your best friend. What if he's trying to get closer to you through your best friend? You never know until you get closer to him yourself!

The first thing you should do is talk to your friend about this situation because she might secretly like him too. The two of you need to figure this out. You can do this by approaching her with a nice attitude. Don't forget to be assertive while speaking to her! Being passive can be had for us at times. If you both like him, one of you is going to have to sacrifice him. If she doesn't like him, then you need to ask him to the dance yourself! With this comes confidence, so if you aren't confident enough to ask him, then take a moment to breathe and tell yourself that you can do this. And honestly? You really can. If this method doesn't work, then look up ways you can gain enough confidence to do things. Not every method works for everyone, so make sure to work hard to find out what works for you! The key here is to not give up while doing all of these things I just stated.

Be honest with him when you approach him, and let him know how you feel. It may seem weird because you don't really talk to him, but do you know how many people like people they've never spoken to? Way too many to even count, and I'm even one of them! :) You aren't alone in this,so don't feel weird at all. It isn't easy to do what the Advice Column Team is asking you to do, but we know that you can do it.

If he says yes, great for you, and if he says no, guess what? It isn't the end of world. It may seem like it would be, but it isn't. Your job in life is to constantly keep moving and only look back when and if absolutely necessary. Many of us are, unfortunately, rejected by people we love, so we need to be willing to accept that because, if we don't, then we'd live in misery. In other words, know that no matter what happens, there's still a reason to keep going and keep trying (whether it's with him or someone else). It's all up to you.

We wish you the best of luck!

The Advice Column Team