The Advice Column I

175

Advice Request
This person is having some issues with their best friend.

Answered Submission
Hello, Dearie! It seems as if you're stuck in quite the tough situation here, but, fortunately, I can see a reasonable endpoint, should you take my advice. Based off what you've described, it appears that—and don't take this the wrong way—you are both at fault here. I'm sure you know this already and don't need me to tell you, but an emotional illness really changes a person, and one key detail is that it affects everyone differently. So, while you both may have the same illnesses, she may need more attention and extra love from the only friend who can truly understand her. In contrast, you seem to need a confidence boost. It is my understanding that a lack of open communication between you both has not only caused a failure in addressing these needs, but has also caused you both to be terribly unhappy with your friendship.

My advice to you is this: be more accepting, be patient, and, above all, be empathetic. If you can do this, and if she can agree to do the same, then you will have a wonderfully long and healthy friendship. It's not going to be the easiest thing to suddenly showcase your feelings like this though. You need to understand that, while you aren't deliberately trying to hurt her, you are, and this is detrimental. She also needs to be more understanding of the fact that you are prone to undergo violent mood changes against your will and that she should not take anything personally when you are not at your best point. Lay all of this out, and maybe even get her to read this advice. If you both can stick to this, you'll be fine. Good luck to you both!

Love and best wishes,

The Advice Column Team