The Advice Column I

Seventy-Eight

Advice Request
This person's boy friend cheated on them, so they broke up. This person, is, now, crushing on someone else, but they're afraid of what they're ex will think of them.

Answered Submission
So, if I have this down, you have two best friends: K and J (disclaimer: names have been hidden for confidentiality). J was your boyfriend, and you loved him, but he cheated on you, and, now, he is your ex. But now you have started to develop feelings for K, and he has asked you out; however, you don't know if you should say yes or not because of J's opinion on the matter.

Let me tell you a little something hon. Boys are weird and can be a major pain in the butt sometimes (as girls can be as well). However, we all need love in our lives, and it is up to us to choose the right guy to fulfill that essential requirement. I get that J was pretty much the love of your life for a while. I also understand that you must be feeling so frustrated that, even though he committed the ultimate form of betrayal, you still want and love him. And I completely see how your feelings for K are confusing you at the moment. Basically, you have no idea how you are supposed to feel.

Here's what you need: a break.

It seems like you have formed too much of an attachment to them, and this attachment has festered into some form of love. J broke your heart, and what better way is there than to move on than to love someone else who you can trust? This isn't the wisest decision. Your feelings for K are more likely some form of a rebound to try and get over your broken heart. Don't do this to yourself and don't inflict that emotional turmoil onto K on who, more than likely, has feelings for you.

Take that break. Take a step back until you can think straight and not be so conflicted by boy troubles. Don't go for either boy right now and ignore whatever they think should matter to you. At the end of the day, an opinion, is just that: an opinion. Whatever J says is irrelevant, and what he might think of you isn't necessarily who you truly are!

Live, love, laugh. Relax.

You have your whole life ahead of you. You'd be surprised at how much relief there is when you just live without all of this pressure. The only person in the way of your happiness is yourself.

I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors. We are always here for you if you need to talk.

And as always, love,

The Advice Column Team