The Advice Column I

Eighty-Three

Advice Request
This person is in an online relationship but doesn't know whether she would like to continue talking to him or completely end things.

Answered Submission
Hey there!

This sounds like a difficult situation. I, myself, talk to a few people online, and I don't even want to imagine having to choose between cutting them off and continuing to talk to them.

In your case, I would stop talking to him. Your family is a significant piece of your identity, and you're stuck with them whether you like it or not. Love interests, on the other hand, come and go. It is said that the way your significant other gets along with your family and friends can be a huge sign of whether or not it's meant to be.

The fact that he says he loves you is the trickiest part in all of this. It's one thing to say it (or text it), but does he show you that he loves you?

When something goes wrong or you need to vent, who do you go to?

The fact that he's been getting on your nerves, too, and being disrespectful—or just plain rude—should be enough for you to cut him loose as well.

However, if you do continue to talk to him, you have to ask yourself what cost you would be paying.

Is hearing him talk about the people you love in a negative way worth his company?

Does he bring positivity to the table and enrich your quality of life?

If the answer is no, I think you two need to have a talk.

I have to really commend you on the three-strikes strategy, Sweet. Honestly, it shows how forgiving and mature you are. But since he's hit the third strike, we all know what comes next: out.

One more thing!

Can you live without him?

If the answer is yes, you know what to do.

Good luck!

Love,
The Advice Column Team