The Advice Column I

Sixty-Nine

Advice Request
This person is confused about their sexuality. They have been interested in girls and boys in the past. They have a friend who they think they have feelings for but know that she is straight. They don't know what to do.

Answered Submission
Hey there!

I think, first of all, you will have to decide yourself if you are straight or not. You said that your first kiss was with another girl, and so was your second, but after that for a while you were more interested in boys. Also the fact that your family is ready to support you whether you are straight or not is great news. I don't think you need to disregard any claims of being gay; it's your own nature which you can't stop. Even though you may have assured them you are definitely straight, if you don't think you are, tell them, for they are your family, and they love you! You said yourself that they will accept you no matter what, so don't be afraid to come out. 

Once you have decided your sexuality, then you can plan what to do next. You said that you think you have feelings for a friend of yours that you love spending time with and always want to make her happy. But you know she is not attracted to the same sex.

I'm just going to be real with you and tell you, that, you cannot force someone to like you in any romantic way whatsoever. And by telling her you love her and want to be in a relationship with her may jeopardize your friendship. Although the decision is, without a doubt, yours, I advise you to not take the risk since she is most likely to not reciprocate your feelings. You can still remain close friends and you can still make her laugh and smile and spend time with her that way. My only fear being by taking the risk of telling her your feelings is that you might lose what you have.

I know you must be confused, so maybe even talk to your nice Humanities teacher.

We wish you the best of luck!

The Advice Column Team