The Advice Column I

183

Advice Request
This person feels that they are not a good person.

Answered Submission
Hello there.

I know this is not related to the advice that I'm about to give you, but I just want to say that I like your name (both of your names). It's a beautiful name, and, somehow, your name fits your beautiful personality. I understand why you feel shitty about yourself. Despite your friendship with your friend ending badly, I think that, on a better side, she won't put you down and hurt you anymore. If I were to consider things from an outsider's point of view, I would say that the fight could have been handled better so that it would not have ended as badly as it did. However, it was a bad day for you, and, to be honest, I don't think anyone has the time for more drama when someone that you care for in your life has just died. I don't know her justification for her acting the way she did, but she probably had monsters of her own to handle. From your story, I can only think that the fight was bound to happen, but it ended up happening at the wrong time. I'm glad that you're happier now without her by your side hurting you. I know this may sound ridiculous, but, for some, they can't let go of the person or people who are hurting them. It's good that you have the courage to save yourself from all that heartache. What I really want to say is that you're not a shitty person. You may think you are, but I don't think you are. Even if you guys have ended everything on a bad note, you still know what's right and what's wrong and what you should do and what you should not do. I'm proud that you didn't resort to doing petty things to her stuff that you are holding. She had left those things with you when you and her were still friends—when she still trusted you to take care of her things. She may not be the nicest person to you, but you have been a bigger person by actually thinking of handing the things back to her, like how a mature person would. That's proof that you're not a shitty person. When you want to give it back is up to you, but, personally, for closure's sake—for her and for you—I would give her things back as soon as possible. If you don't think you can hand it to her yourself, you can always pass it on to your friends who you trust will make sure the things reach her. It'll be good to just get the job done as soon as possible and move on with your life. It's time to leave that chapter of your life behind. If you keep on holding the things for too long, old wounds will heal slower. I wish you the best of luck in your life and pray that you'll meet friends that will help you and not put you down.

With lots of love,

The Advice Column Team