The Advice Column I

102

Advice Request
This person is being insisted on to have sex with a person even though they don't want it.

Answered Submission
Being sexually intimate is seen as casual to some people, but it's actually a serious and deep topic to the rest of the world. You seem to be like the rest of the world: You believe that sex should only take place between a serious couple. There's nothing wrong with this belief, so there shouldn't be a reason why anyone around you should pressure you to have sex with them when you aren't in a serious relationship with them.

Ask yourself: Are you physically, mentally, and emotionally ready to have sex, especially with a person who you aren't in a relationship with? From what you informed us, it seems like you aren't. On top of that, you don't want to be in a sexually intimate relationship; this alone is huge because it means you should say no to this guy no matter what he says to you.

I hope you find this simple to do, but be straightforward and honest with this guy and tell him that, as long as you aren't in a relationship with him, you won't have sex with him anytime soon. If he continues to insist, then, I'm sorry to say this, but you need to stop talking to him. Men who want nothing but sex from women are low-lives; there is much more to being a partner to someone than to have sex with them. If this guys isn't willing to respect the fact that you aren't giving him your consent, then you shouldn't even talk to him in the first place. He doesn't deserve you if he can't respect you and your personal decision.

If there's one thing I want to emphasize, it's to NEVER give in out of desperation, pressure, or stress. Just because he sounds desperate, that doesn't mean you should accept his request. Same thing goes for pressure and stress. Do not give him the chance to pressure you into doing something you don't want to do, especially if it's sex! Please, love, if you feel like you are on the verge on giving in out of pressure or something along the lines, then immediately contact him and tell him to stop asking for sex. Let him know that if he brings it up again, you will not talk to him anymore.

And if he really does bring it up again? Quick talking to him. It isn't easy, and you may like him, but he doesn't deserve you. You should only be with someone who is worth your time and likes/loves you for who you are and NOT for wanting to have sex with you.

I hope you found this helpful.

Sincerely,

The Advice Column Team