Life in the Teenage Friendzone (Louis Tomlinson)

Chapter 9 - Forget

Jenny's POV

I am curled up on Louis' bed with tears running down my cheeks at the thought of what just happened. Just a few minutes ago me and Louis were laughing and having a ball, and now he is probably downstairs hating me because I caused him and Eleanor to break up. I should've just pushed him away, but I didn't . I couldn't. As he was leaning closer and closer to me I just forgot about everything in the world, it's like I was trapped in some sort of trance. He was going to kiss me. But what scared me the most is that I didn't try to stop him. In a way, I'm glad that Eleanor walked in on us before anything could happen. If we did end up kissing, it would have been so awkward between us and I would lose him all over again. But there is this feeling inside me that wishes Eleanor wouldn't have walked in on us so I could experience how his lips felt on mine.

I hate feeling so conflicted, its like my body is having a war with itself. I don't want to feel this way towards Louis, he is supposed to be my best friend, nothing less nothing more. So why do I feel like this? Is it because I may have feelings for Louis that I don't want to admit to? No, that can't be true. But I cant help but think the way my cheek felt a burning sensation when he kissed it, the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when he told me about his girlfriend, And they way my whole body went numb and my stomach tying in knots when he was hovering over me. With all these facts put together, I finally came to the conclusion that I might have feelings for Louis that don't need to be there.

I can't fancy Louis. I just can't. Not with him being some worldwide popstar. If he was a regular person then it would be easier, but he's not so I guess the only thing I can do is put some space between us for now until I can resolve all these conflicts in my head. Plus, being with him will only make these unwanted feelings for him grow stronger and that can't happen.

With this decided, I wipe my cheeks with the back of my hand while looking for my phone so I can text Madge that we need to leave. Though, I just remembered that my phone was downstairs in the living room. Shit.

I guess I will go down there and tell him that I got sick so I need to go home. Yeah, cause that will be so believable, I thought as I slowly made my way downstairs. I stopped at the last step and saw him, he was sitting on the couch with his head buried in his hands. In that moment, I felt like complete and udder crap. I just broke my best friend and his girlfriend up and it was all my fault.

I didn't know what to do, because if I moved from my spot then he would see me and want to talk to me, and I can't go through that right now. I need space from him to think about all this. But I realized that it was too late now as I saw him lift his head up and look me straight in the eyes. But I didn't see pain, sadness, or regret. I saw something else in his blue orbs that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

I didn't realize how long we had been staring at each other, but it was getting more awkward every second that passed by. I kept on replaying what just happened over and over in my head like it was a broken record. I immediately broke eye contact and quickly headed towards Madge so I could get out of here.

"Jen, wait! Please?" Louis begged with a soft voice that almost made me turn around, but I tuned him out as I walked in the kitchen and grabbed Maddie by the arm.

"We need to go." I told her sternly so she would get the point. She nodded hesitantly and grabbed her coat. We were about to head out the door, but then I felt someone grab my hand and suddenly a burst of tingles shot up my arm.

"Jen, please. I need to talk to you." Louis begged. I slowly turned around and looked anywhere else but his eyes. I knew if I looked at them, I would break right at the spot.

I noticed that he was still holding my hand so I quickly shook it away and put it behind my back.

"No, Louis. This is all my fault and I need some time to think about this." I told him with my voice cracking near the end.