Life in the Teenage Friendzone (Louis Tomlinson)

Chapter 21 - Hunger, Love, and Lust

Louis POV

Days. Weeks. Months.

I honestly don't know how much time has passed, all I know is with every unbearable minute that passes, my emotions fill to the brim. Emotions. The kind of emotions that feel like you're constantly falling, falling down an unending hole of sadness and despair.

As my depressing thoughts slowly consume my very soul, I am driving to Jen's flat for the sixth time this month. I know I'm probably going to get the same reaction every time, ending in one of her friends yelling at me to leave and never come back. But I have to come back. Everyday, my hope of being able to get her back slowly diminishes, but there's always that little spark left in there telling me that I can do it.

I pull into the driveway and sit in my car for what seems like hours, pondering if I should knock on her door just to get yelled at. I find my feet moving towards the door, so I guess my body made that decision for me.

I find myself knocking on the door multiple times but there is no answer. That's weird. They always answer.

I twist the doorknob to find that the door is unlocked. With that, I step in the house slowly. I know this is considered breaking in, and they can call the cops on me at any time , but I desperately need to see Jen and I found this as my chance.

I hear a loud boom of thunder coming from outside and jump as I feel it shaking the whole house. I get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach as I walk around the empty house. I snap my head in the direction to which I hear sobbing.

I press my ear to the door and I hear the unmistakeable sound of Jen's crying. I burst through the door to see her laying on the bed curled up in a ball shaking violently. I know exactly what is going on.

She is having a panic attack.

I quickly run over to her and bring her close to me wrapping my arms around her. Ever since she turned into a teen, she started getting these awful panic attacks that last for up to an hour. I would always hold her like I am now, which would calm her down greatly.

"Shh. Babe, it's okay. Breath in and out." I whisper while caressing her tear stained cheeks. I rock her back and fourth in a tight embrace and sing one of our songs, "Irresistible" in her ear soothingly.

She is clutching my shirt tightly, making her knuckles turn white. Her lips are trembling as he takes sharp intakes of breath against the crook of my neck. Her violent shaking has calmed down to a slight shiver. I've never seen her have an attack this awfully before, and I begin to wonder what has caused her body to do this.

"Shh. It's okay love. Keep breathing." I softly tell her and whisper sweet nothing's into her ear. I can't help but think how my heart rate has increased miraculously, while my stomach does flips as I am holding her in my arms. I have missed this feeling deeply, and it's almost like I crave her touch.

I notice she slowly rises her head to meet my blue-green orbs with her chocolate brown. Her eyes widen to the size of saucers before she violently pushes herself off of me. She stumbles backwards and her back reaches the wall.

"Wha-what are you doing here?!" She yells at me from the other side of the room.

"I came to see you and apologize, but when no one answered I came in because I had a bad feeling. When I got in here, I saw you were having a panic attack so I comforted you." I tell her slowly so she has time to take in everything I'm saying.

I notice her nostrils flare in anger while she clenches her fists. "So you thought you could just walk in my house?! Who do you think you are?!" She yells at me while running her fingers through her hair in frustration.