Married to the Mafia {manxman}

Capítulo Veintisiete.

This is the end.

~

Married to the Mafia: Capítulo Veintisiete

"I'm sorry, Derek."

I felt someone clutching my shoulder as I shuddered. "It's okay, Micah." I whispered, my voice hollow.

I didn't know what to feel anymore, or what I should do. My heart was broken, all my scars doused in alcohol and all I could do was scream. The one I really needed was gone and it was because of me. I pushed him away. I did this to him.

All this time, I was trying to prove that he was in the wrong and he should've came to me about it but I didn't see it from his side. Now he's dead and it took his death for me to see that he wasn't as bad as I was trying to depict him to be.

He was always and he is still there in my heart.

"You know, I won't say I told you so, Derek." Micah's shaky voice cut into my thoughts. "This is the price you pay." He muttered while pointing to Ray's body that was covered in blood. "You're right." I whispered. "It's my fault and I'll spend the rest of my life making amends for it." I sniffled, looking at his closed eyes and his lips.

"I don't know why it took me so long to come to terms with it. Yeah he did what he did, but he also had a good reason for it. I guess I was too blinded by the hurt to see it." I started to say while rubbing Raymundo's hand. "I do love him, more than I think. I love him and I hate that I love him. I hate that no matter how many times I try to be mad about it, I can't be. My love for him outweighs everything else. Jesus Micah, I've never felt like this." I shuddered a bit while choking on a sob.

"And I'll never get to say I love you or I'm sorry." I reap what I sow.

"You do have a chance, you know. Just hope he gives it to you." Micah said with a wave of his hand as he walked out of the room. "Huh?" I sputtered, looking at the door as if it would give me all the answers I needed to know.

I shrugged it off and turned back to look at Raymundo and jumping when I realized his eyes were open and he was staring straight at me.

"The fuck?" I mumbled under my breath. He snatched his head away from me and ripped the cords out of his body and peeled the blankets from his legs, revealing uninjured legs. He got up on the other side of the bed and I walked over to help him up and he pushed me away.

"You know, I should've walked away when you told me I stood no chance with you ever again." Ray shrugged, getting out of bed. "I mean, dios mio, I regret doing what I did but damn, I did it so Karina wouldn't fucking come after you. And after I killed her, I felt better. But the way you have been treating me these last few months, I don't know anymore." He scoffed, looking down at me.

"I take blame for not telling you about my problems because you were my lover. Whatever problems I had, I should've told you so I'm at fault for that. But you constantly took advantage of my actions, like I had a way out of it." He snorted, standing in front of me with a blank face.

"Raymundo I-

"No. I don't want to hear it. You can keep the flowers and the letters but just know you won't be getting anymore. I'm tired of trying to give you my love and you take it for granted. I wish you best of luck in your next relationships and let this be a lesson learned for you." Raymundo nodded down at me before patting me on the shoulder and walking around me to leave the hospital room.

I started to sob quietly as I turned around to watch him leave.

Everything is my fault. I was just so mad at him that I pushed him away and I ruined my chance at real love. He had been the best thing that ever happened to me and I threw it away. I mean, yeah he cheated, but it wasn't intentional and I shouldn't have held that over his head.