The Super Soldier

Chapter 25

BUCKY'S POV

     "Hold still, Buc." Steve instructs.
     "Yeah hold still." Nat chimes in, pulling tighter on my hair.
     The coolness of the paint brush Steve was sliding across my metal arm helped distract me from Nat ripping all of my hair out of my head.
     "Ok. I'm done." Nat says letting go of my hair and handing me a mirror.
     I look into the mirror and see myself, only slightly different, staring back at me. My long, brown hair was pulled back into a bun resting halfway up my head.
     "Thanks Nat." I tell her sincerely.
     "Yeah, my pleasure. It doesn't look as hideous as before. Oh, and it won't get in your way as much." She replies.
     "Hey Steve," I begin, looking over at him, the colors he's painting over my arm, coating his hands. "How's it going? Almost done?"
     "Ssshhhh. Hold still." Steve mumbles, the lines in his forehead creasing.
I nod and close my eyes, letting Steve finish in peace.
A few minutes later Steve speaks again, rising from his spot on the floor.
"I'm done. Just let the paint dry for a minute." He says, turning my arm so I can see it.
I look at the colors Steve has painted across the metal part of my body. He didn't say what he was going to paint, just that he was going to do it. At first I had been skeptical but now I'm happy I let him do it.
On my arm, Steve painted a Christmas tree. The star already on my arm, the Hydra star was the top of the tree.
I remember when my arm was cut off during a fight with Tony. Later I had gotten him to make me a new one. Even though I was free from the control of Hydra, I had asked him to put their logo, the star back on it.
It hurts me so much having to remember what I did while under their control. I still feel extremely guilty about everything. I know that guilt will never go away. The things I did for Hydra will never be undone. My past won't just disappear. I can continue hiding from it or I can just accept it.
When I asked for their mark to be branded on me again I had shown I wasn't going to hide from my past, but instead I was going to own that it will always be a part of me. Not until recently have I finally come to terms with what I've done and how to live with it.
"Thanks Steve." I whisper. "It looks great."
"I thought you'd like it." Steve smiles.
I look around Steve's apartment and take everything in.
Wanda and Vision sit on the couch and laugh happily. Tony and Sam stand by the corner deep in conversation. From across the room, Nat watches Steve and I, smiling.
About a month has gone by since Steve was discharged from the hospital.
After taking the bullet I tried to kill myself with, Steve was a little weird with my mental state. It took me a while, but after some time I was able to convince Steve and myself that I was fine, didn't need help, and would never try to hurt myself like that again.
When I think back on it know, I have no clue what I was doing. It was a quickly made poor decision. Good thing Steve was there to save me even though it put his life on the line. He will never learn, will he?
Things didn't go so great for the Avengers as a whole though. Eventually the government tracked us all down. They wanted to inflict punishment but, we were able to convince them with the selling of the tower we were truly retired. After that they left us alone.
From here everyone is going to go separate ways. Sam is going to go back to D.C. and train different branches of the military. Tony is going to disappear into some mansion before he events something else that will almost kill us all. Nat is going to begin working with the government in the protection of important government figures. Vision, has realized that he can no longer stay on Earth. He plans to travel through space and discover more about the mind-stone that controls him.
The only one staying in town is Wanda. She has decided to earn her green card. After she has done that she plans on looking into extra education opportunities.
As for Steve and I we're staying here in Brooklyn. We don't really have that many plans for the future. We'll just have to wait and see where life takes us I guess.
Tonight, on Christmas Eve, is going to be one of the last times we'll be together for a while. I'm not sure if I'm sad because I didn't get much of a chance to really get to know them. I will be sad to see them go when the actual time comes though.
I turn to look at Steve. I have to resist the urge to laugh because he's doing the same exact thing I'm doing. He's looking around the room, no emotion on his face, deep in thought.
"So Steve. What do we do from here?" I ask.
He turns, his ice blue eyes piercing through me like shards of ice.
"I don't know Buc. Whatever we want I guess." He replies.
I hold out my arms and pull him into a hug. Steve wraps his arms around my back and pulls me close to his body. Resting my chin on his shoulder, I whisper in his ear.
"I'm with you," I being right as Steve finishes for me.
"Till the end of the line."