Shipwrecked Hearts

Inizio

Inizio

I put the cigarette between my lips and lit it. The aroma of the tobacco as it smoldered its way down to my lungs gave me liberation. I held the cig and exhaled heavily, letting the smoke fade away into thin salt air. Sumandal ako sa rehas ng barko at pinagmasdan ang kalmadong karagatan. It is the calm before the storm. I can smell it—a hurricane is coming.

Pinikit ko ang aking mga mata at muling binalikan ang mga pangyayari, how I ended up here, in a cruise ship of grand voyage in the middle of nowhere. So how did I end up here? In a ship full of aristocrats? Oh, right, I was stood up.

I was supposed to get married, ngunit hindi ako sinipot ng mapapangasawa ko. I was about to walk the aisle. Who would have thought that walk of my life will become a walk of shame? That's when I saw that there was no man waiting for me in front of the altar.

Why? Because he's not yet ready to vouch his responsibilities to me. Or at least that's what people think. What a pussy.

And because my loving parents dearly love their daughter so much, they sent me away for a vacation thinking that will cool my head from all the controversies I've been through—as the media started discussing theories I cheated that's why Vanz didn't show up, or that Vanz found out I wasn't a virgin anymore since we pledged to do it after our marriage to make our 'bond' more sacred.

I can imagine my face being featured in the newspapers and news with a stupid headline.

Akira Kara got stood up by Vanz Alfonzos!

Akira Kara cheated on Vanz Alfonzos!

Heiress of Marine Sky Corp, is a certified charlatan!

Well, damn it. Damn. All. Of. It. They know nothing.

Of course, that said, none of it was true. What is true is that Vanz like to suck d*cks, or in short, he's a gay who likes balls more than peanuts. Teka, in short ba iyon?

Anyways, I can't believe it myself when I found out, but he is anyways. It's true. Mabuti na lang at hindi talaga siya sumipot sa kasal namin. Right after our supposed to be wedding. At dahil sobra akong napahiya nang walang rason, naghanap ako kung bakit ganoon ang ginawa niya. I needed reasons. Valid reasons. But Vanz didn't give me any, ni isang salita wala, hindi siya nakipag-usap sa akin. Like I didn't exist. Sinayang niya ako. I mean, isang Akira Kara, sinayang niya?

Walang lalaking kayang itakwil ang isang tulad ko. Okay, I'm a little bit full of myself, but it's true to some extent. That's why I investigated more on Vanz's profile, doon ko napagtanto na baklush siya. Bading. Bakla. Beki. Bekibells. Call it what you want!

I tried telling my parents, his family, and friends, but they didn't believe me. They think I am lying, because I wanted to get back. Because he stood me up. Pumasok na ako sa aking cabin matapos magyosi at pumunta sa wine bar nito, kinuha ko ang isa sa mga pinakamatapang na alcohol—Vieille Bon Secours Ale. After that, I poured my glass with it and drank it whole. I let the alcohol sip its way down, the warmth of its touch shriveled my senses, I wanted more of it and I've got the reputation for always getting what I want. Except Vanz, because of his sexual preference. I should have grown a dick and two balls, I laughed at the thought.

I know, nagpapakadalubhasa ako dahil sa isang bakla. I know I'm pathetic for still loving Vanz despite knowing what he truly is, na berde ang kulay ng kan'yang dugo. I know and what I know is all I can say. I'm still willing to forgive him, I'm still willing. Gusto kong ituwid ang baluktot na landas niya. But he won't let me. Kaya ano pa ba ang magagawa ko?

Nagpakalunod ako sa alcohol, the next thing I knew, naubos ko na ang buong bote ng alak. I sighed, I can feel my body heating up, it seems like the alcohol is starting to work as I am starting to feel drowsy and light-headed. "More! More! I want more!" I whined to myself, I struggled to find my way to my cabin's bar and take another bottle without looking at its label, I'm too drunk to think and read anyways. And what's the difference anyways? An alcohol will always be an alcohol regardless of its label. Binuksan ko ang hawak ko at diniretsang ininom. "Gah!" Ramdam kong tila tinutusok na ng apoy ang aking lalamunan ngunit hindi ako tumigil. Right now, all I can do is drown myself with alcohol.