Shipwrecked Hearts

Navigare 64

I can't give up on Maximo, not now. He's fighting against death. He's struggling. The best thing I can do at this moment is to give him moral support. I can't give up on someone who's still fighting until his last breaths.

May mga gamit siyang nilabas mula sa kan'yang first aid kit. Hiindi ko naintindihan ang kan'yang sunod-sunod na mga ginawa.

"He lost too much blood. There's a high possibility of the risk that his brain will be damaged, but that is just a possibility." She inserted a pin into the vein of Maximo on his right hand. I saw the transparent wire connected unto it. Unti-unting dumaloy ng dugo mula rito. Sinasalinan siya ng dugo. "This should temporarily suffice for the blood he has lost."

Binato ni K ang pouch ng dugo at agad na sinalo ni Nick na nakatayo lang sa gilid. "Kira, let me." Inalis ko ngayon ang aking duguang kamay sa sugat ni Maximo. She ripped the long sleeve off Maximo using a scissor, pagkatapos ay hinubad niya ito sa kan'yang't kinumpol-kumpol, ginawa niya itong unan ni Maximo upang suporta sa ulo.

"Fuck." Ani K habang tinitignan ang natamong sugat mula sa pagkakasaksak ng espada. "One major organ—destroyed. I need to conduct an organ transplant right now. I am afraid he only has one hour to live if I don't do it ASAP."

Naguluhan ako dahil sa sinambit ni K. Muli niya akong inutusan na lagyan ulit ng pigapit ang sugat ni Maximo upang pigilan ang paglagos ng dugo palabas.

Tumayo si K bitbit ang kit niya at tumigil sa harap ni Mermaid. Nakita ko ang paghigpit ng hawak ni K sa kan'yang mga gamit, nakita ko ang pagtulo ng luha mula sa kan'yang pisngi. Mabilis niya itong pinunasan at lumuhod.

Hinaplos niya ang ilang hibla ng buhok ni Mermaid, "I'm sorry, I wasn't a good... let's just say I wasn't good, you probably don't even know me... I just want you to rest in peace, Serene."

Serene? She wasn't good? Ano ang ibig niyang sabihin? Why is she calling Mermaid that name?

I heard her say all of it through her pained voice, sinara na ni K nang tuluyan ang mga mata ng bata gaya ng pagsara niya sa kan'yang nararamdaman na kawalan at pighati. Tumingin si K kay Nick, "I'll be needing a container filled with ice cubes. Now." Her voice almost cracked, ngunit pinatigas niya ito.

Inabot ko naman ang hawak niyang pouch ng dugo upang makaalis at kunin ang hiling niya habang ang isang kamay ko ay patuloy na mariing nakadikit sa tagiliran ni Maximo.

Mabilis siyang tumakbo papunta sa kusina. Doon ko lang napagtanto ang nais gawin ni K... she'll use the organ of Mermaid to replace Maximo's. Habang wala pa si Nick ay nakita ko ang paghaplos ni K sa pisngi ni Mermaid, she wore the weak smile on her face, she silently cried as if mourning for a certain loss. She kept muttering that she was sorry for not being good enough.

Halos kalahating minuto lang ay bumalik si Nick, pawisan at hinihingal. Agad niyang binigay ang lalagyan na may yelo kay K na agad namang nagpunas sa sariling mga luha at nagpakaabala sa pagsugat sa tagiliran ni Mermaid.

I looked away.

Tila nawalan ako ng buong-lakas. Hindi ko kayang panoorin ang ginagawa niya kay Mermaid, kahit na para ito kay Maximo. Hindi ko matanggap na wala na siya. Parang kanina lang noong una kaming nagkita.

I remember her smile, I remember how she can easily uplift the mood of the place. She was so pure and innocent. The world doesn't deserve her. Ang mas ikinagulat ko pa ay ang pagkalantad niya sa dumi ng mundo. She never deserved it. She deserved more, but still, she kept her smile on her face... as if it was the only thing she can do. Accept the darkness and reciprocate it with light. And now, she's been taken away.

She's my sister. My little sister. Even if we weren't sisters by blood. We were sisters by soul. I just found myself silently praying for the repose of Mermaid's soul. I was oddly calm. Hindi ko alam ngunit tila may bahagi sa aking pagkatao na namanhid, na namatay.

Mula sa gilid ng aking bis'yon ay nakita ko ang laman-loob ni Mermaid, dahan-dahang sinalin ito ni K sa silver container na puno ng yelo. Pagkatapos ay binuhat niya ito at tumungo sa aming gawi ni Maximo.

"Let me take over." K insisted. I nodded, muling kinuha ni Nick ang lalagyan ng dugo na pumapatak papunta sa katawan ni Maximo, I was too loss at words to say anything so I just did as what she said.

Pinagmasdan ko ang kan'yang ginagawa. May mga apparatus siyang ginamit at dinikit sa katawan ni Maximo. Seems like she is always prepared for such severe situations. Kunot-noo ko siyang tinignan at ang kan'yang inasta kanina sa bangkay ni Mermaid. Is there something I am missing here?

Binaling ko ang aking tingin kay Mermaid. She's gone... I don't even know what to feel anymore. This... this feels like nothing but a nightmare. A nightmare that I won't wake up from. Reality is our biggest nightmare here. The worst nightmare.

Bumuntong-hininga ako at sumandal sa isa sa mga pabilog na pillars ng pasilyo. Dumistans'ya ako upang hindi makaabala. Tinatakpan ko rin kasi ang ilaw. Ako'y nakamasid lang kay K habang inooperahan si Maximo sa dako kung saan siya mismo halos mamatay. I slowly smelled life coming into Maximo's. It was faint and dim, but it was there.

"Starfish..."

His voice stopped all the voices in my head. Umalingawngaw ito na tila sigaw mula sa lagusan na binabalot ng walang iba kundi kadiliman. It calmed my senses down, making me think clearly.

"I'm always here, Starfish."

I closed my eyes with a smile. I know, I can feel you. I can smell your scent—a mixture of the sea and a meadow of flowers. I can smell everything inside you. I can smell how lowly you think of yourself, thinking you are not enough for me because you keep failing to protect me... when it's the other way around. It is me who is not enough for you. Maybe you don't see that because you look at me so highly.

I remember the first time I saw you. How I thought you were a cosplayer portraying a certain pirate character, doon ako nagkamali. You seemed amused and enthralled at first. You thought I was crazy. And you offered that crazy me to join your crew, to be your queen.

And I said yes.

Ngayo'y lumapit na ako at hinawakan ang dating malamig na kamay ni Maximo na ngayo'y mainit na. Halos kalahati ng isang oras kong mahigpit na pinilipit ang aking mga daliri sa kan'yang. Wala akong ibang ginawa kundi ang pagmasdan siya. Ang dating maputlang mukha niya'y dahan-dahang nagkaroon ng kulay.

"Maximo..." bulong ko sa kan'yang, tila natutulog lamang siya nang mahimbing. I can see how his chest rise and fall, up and down, in a calculated pattern. "Hang in there..." iyon lamang ang mga katagang nabitawan ko.

Kasabay nito ay ang unti-unting paghupa ng malakas na pag-ulan. The sky was half cleared and the crescent moon was revealed. Tila nakangiti ito sa amin. Assuring that everything will be alright. The rays that illuminated us seemed to be as warm as the sun.

"Organ transplant. Completed." Saad ni K, may nilabas siyang karayom at sinulid. I watched as she closed the wound slowly by stitching it. It was fast, accurate, and precise. She sighed after finishing and wiped away the globules of sweat on her forehead. "Nick, we need a stretcher and transfer him to my clinic. I need to further examine his body and he needs oxygen to support his breathing."

Nick nodded his head, tila may gustong itanong. I can smell how he is debating inside his head, tila may pinagdadalawang-isipan na sabihin o itanong, humugot siya ng lakas-loob at tumikhim, "Are you not going to cry for her?" Binaling niya ang kan'yang tingin kay Mermaid. "S-She's your—"

"It doesn't matter anymore." Malamig na pagpigil ni K kay Nick bago pa man niya matapos ang kan'yang dapat sabihin. Hindi ko alam ngunit tila nagpalitan sila ng mga salita gamit lamang ang kanilang mga matang nakatingin nang matalim sa isa't isa. Nagsusukatan ng tingin.

Nick sighed, "she deserves more than this."

"You think I don't know that?" Kalmado ngunit malungkot na tanong ni K sa kan'yang. "Like I said, all of this doesn't matter anymore. She's gone. Dead. End of story."

Umiling na lang si Nick at lumapit kay Mermaid. He held her lifeless body on his hands and kissed the forehead of Mermaid, "of course it fucking matters. She is your daughter! It fucking matters. Wala ka bang puso, ha? Masyado na bang nabulag ang iyong mga mata ng Siyensa, K? Or should I say, Excel... Say it to my fucking face and your dead daughter's, Excel!"