out of sight, but never out of mind.

13: give your heart a break

Author's note: I suggest you all listen or at least read the lyrics of Demi Lovato's 'Give Your Heart A Break' after you read this chapter, because I think it really suits.

Portals are a nice way of traveling, also a very popular way. Especially when you want to go in or out Idris, it’s a busy schedule and for the sake of safety it’s also very secured. Izzy hasn’t managed to get trough yet, she also has no clue how Jace managed to leave and come back on the same day. He didn’t even write a request three years before; he just walked up there and left Idris. And he came back safely. Idris is a small country, with Alicante as capital city and only city. Around the city there are these huge houses of old shadowhunter families and forests. Alicante is quite close to the borders, one way there is Lake Lynn and miles of forest and other unpleasant things, to the other way you’ll reach mundane land. Izzy asked one of those guardians, and is no on her way. It wasn’t hard to find Clary’s phone, it’s harder to find a place where she can actually use it.

Suddenly it starts making noise and starts vibrating; Izzy almost drops the damn thing. She quickly unlocks it and looks for the problem. Clary’s phone received four new messages. Izzy is breathing rapidly; she didn’t notice how fast she was running. All the texts are from Simon, about Izzy. He is worried, Clary has to pass on that Simon loves her, Clary has to check if she has someone else and the last one is Simon saying he’s not jealous. Izzy taps Simon’s name, nothing happens. Izzy clicks on the big button just underneath the screen, and the text messages leave. In the background there’s a photo of Jace and Izzy with Max. It’s lovely but the stupid device still isn’t calling Simon. Izzy presses the button again, longer this time until it makes a buzzing sound and a ploing. She quickly releases it and out of frustration she yells; “by the angel, just call Simon you stupid thing.” Then Izzy hears someone talking; “did you mean call Simon?” Suspiciously Izzy looks over her shoulder while she says; “yes.” Izzy looked forward again, no idea who she was talking to. Suddenly she heard Simon’s muffled voice; “hi Clary.” Izzy doesn’t see her boyfriend anywhere near, so she yells; “Simon! Where are you?” Simon says her name, saying he is just at band practice. He sounds a bit confused. Then it hits Izzy, the voice is coming out of Clary’s phone. Quickly she holds it close to her ear, like she has seen Clary do so many times. “Hello? Izzy? Are you there?” “I’m here,” Izzy yells. “Thank the angel, Simon I missed you.”

“You don’t have to yell, you’re making me deaf.”

“You are a vampire you can’t get deaf.”

“Iz, where are you? It’s quite a bad connection and what are you doing with Clary’s phone? Where is yours?”

“I don’t know, somewhere at the borders of France. Clary and Jace are on a date and I used her phone because mine walked away. And apparently this thing talks and I am so persuasive it started calling you when I said it. Oh and Simon, I love you too, there’s no one else.”

“The borders of France, you walked all the way to France? What the hell Izzy, why?”

“No connection in Alicante, and technically I ran. It’s not that far.”

“I love you Iz, and I’m sorry to crush your dreams but you’re not that persuasive. That’s called voice-”

Then he fell silent, Izzy yells his name a few times but there was no reaction. She takes the phone and looks at the screen, which is pitch black. Pushing buttons or yelling doesn’t work. “Damnit, please don’t say I broke it,” Izzy yells, maybe at Simon, maybe at the phone, who knows. Then the empty battery shows and Izzy starts on her way back. At least she got to talk to him.

Tears glistered in Clary's eyes, she whispers; "Jace, that was beautiful." She pulled Jace up so she could look him in his eyes. "But I just don't know. I am only seventeen; there is a whole life ahead of us. Are you sure you want to settle like this already? Like you said, you can get every girl you want. Don't feel guilty about the whole pregnancy thing; don't make hastily decisions out of guilt. I love you, I am certain about that but how am I supposed to know who the 'I' part is of that sentence. Who am I, Jace? Not the girl who let her live pass by because she had to take care of a baby and married before she even finished school. Don't get me wrong Jace, I love you with my whole heart and I don't want anyone else either. But maybe we should slow down things a bit, take a break."

It was like his heart broke in thousand of little pieces, and sinks into is shoes. Jace looks at his feet, she turned him down. He isn't going to let her go, he needs her, pregnant or not. "Clary don't-" but he got interrupted. "I can't Jace." and with that Clary walks away. Impulsively Jace takes her hand and pulls her to his cest, smashing his lips against hers. It wasn't a sweet lovely kiss, it was a desperate one. It was a kiss full of desire for each other. It was a kiss like the one in the seelie court, both wanting more than possible. But it wasn't going to change a thing right now. Clary is the one to pull away first, she takes a step back and says; "take care, Jace.

And with that, she is gone. Jace stood there, completely flabbergasted. A little absent-minded his fingers travelled over his lips, already missing Clary's. He wants to scream, he wants to run after her, he wants to cry and be comforted by her. Jace sits down on the picnic blanket. She probably wants some space, he should give her some space. Jace lies on his back, no feeling like there's anything he should do. The rune to fix a broken heart is the most painful one. Jace remembered when Alec told him that. Before Clary showed up in his life, he had always been the one who broke hearts. Jace didn't cry and he also doesn't feel heartbroken. He feels like he has no heart at all, like it was ripped out and nothing is left.

Clary ran home, now she's throwing up above the toilet. Stupid hormones or whatever. Her tears silently find their way down her face. To love is to destroy and to be loved is to be destroyed. That's what her dad has learned Jace, that's what Clary just proved again. It's pretty ironic, right? Jace was the one who was raised by Valentine and a spy suspect while now it turns out that Clary is an awful lot like daddy Morgenstern.

The house is completely empty, which isn't what Clary was planning on. She at least wanted to tell Izzy she was going back to New York. That was Clary's last thought before she opened the door. Unfortunately someone else was opening the door at precisely the same moment as Clary, which made the door smash right in her face. "By the Angel, Clary I'm so sorry!" a hyper Izzy yells. "It's fine," is the mumbled answer. Now Izzy takes a better look at her friend and asks; "what the hell happened to you? You look awful. Where's Jace? Wait, Clary why do you have your bags? What did that bastard do? Are you leaving?" Isabelle fires her questions so fast that Clary isn't able to answer, so she puts her hand over Izzy's mouth and quickly explains; "Jace is the best boyfriend someone van have, I don't know if I can handle everything. Yes, I am leaving. I am going back to New York. That was the plan from the very beginning." Izzy stares. Clary hugs her friend very tight and says; "please come to New York some time." Izzy promises to come over, but something is still bothering her. "Clary, where is Jace?" Clary does a sad attempt to smile through her tears which are still silently running. "Please look after him a bit, Izzy." The black haired girl nods, even though she has no idea what is going on here. Then she holds up Clary's phone. "I ehh, I used it to call Simon." Now Clary can smile. "Keep it, Iz." She hands over the charger, explaining how to use it. For Clary it's time to go, and with another hug she steps out the door and start drawing a portal on the wall. That's the thing with Alicante, getting in is hard, getting out is a piece of cake.

Before she steps into the portal she turns to Izzy; "don't get me wrong, and please make sure he doesn't get me wrong. I never wanted to break anyone's heart, just wanted to give our hearts a break." Izzy nods a bit confused. "And don't forget to use my phone, that thing I just left here with you." Izzy nods again, a bit flabbergasted. Without another sound Clary was gone.

--

Hi there, I guess that wasn't what you were expecting.. I've got some more surprises ready for you.. Thank you all for reading, and please comment your thought on this chapter.

see you later alligator, xoxo