My Dark Rants

Oh deer

   So I haven't updated this for quite a while. A lot has honestly happened. School is getting less stressful though, so that's good. In a way my mood completely dipped down and I was just in a tunnel vision or a spiral of depression from like this past Sunday until yesterday night. But now I feel fine! I feel like a huge weight has lifted off of my shoulders, when before I was– what professionals like my therapist say– ideating suicide. Suicide Ideation. That's no bueno mi amigo. I'm okay now, I really am. The one thing I'm confused about is I'm taking medication. And now, I'm actually thinking a little worse than how I was before the medication. I upped the dose the last time I met with the psychiatrist, but maybe I should increase it again.
   I don't know. Well now it's the weekend and it's time to actually be productive and study for my first midterms of high school. I'm intimidated because tests are my absolute weakness in school, I suck at testing it's shocking I can get at least a B in the classes I take. But I got my hella smart boyfriend to help me study, and one of the best parts is that my area of struggle is his best subject, and that's science and math. And he says he is not as good at english as he wants to be, but I think he's amazing, but in return for helping me so much with science, I can help him as much as he needs in english, which is my absolute best subject. And not to brag, but I'm gonna brag. My boyfriend is the best, I CANNOT EXPRESS THE PRIDE I HAVE FOR HIM. He is an AP student. Like, if he lived here he would be in AP science or something like that. Oh my goodness its insane and its so hot how smart he is OmG.
   Anyway, I'm not trying to creep anyone out by all my fangirling because I can honestly go on. But my bus stop is right about to come up so, gotta go! <3