I have finally broken out of my shell. I'm no longer hiding my true feelings and emotions from my father. I have told him straight up. I'm mad that he has a fiancé that he hasn't actually told us about—we are only bombarded with gross pictures of them kissing on social media, as well as her posting all about their engagement AND HE'S NOT EVEN DIVORCED YET—and that he has hurt my brother and me in numerous ways. Now he's saying he doesn't recognize me. That I've changed. Fuck yeah I changed. The only way he would recognize me was if I kept my mouth shut and didn't express anything. That's what he's used to.
I was told by someone I thought I trusted to be able to tell everything I cared about to, that I was being so whiney and overreacting about the issues my dad caused. They said I deserve to suffer the consequences. They said I never shut up about my problems. With swarming fumes erupting in me, I never thought I'd get something so damaging, except from my dad.
I was spammed by someone I cared a lot about, looked up to for their ability to ways be themselves no matter who was watching, and their strength and wisdom. They spammed me saying they hate me. How they will never forgive me. What I did was I finally thought about myself for once and decided I felt less than enough, and that the people I was surrounded by, whether or not they actually did care, did not seem to show they really wanted me around.
When I said that all I got was hate. A month passed by. If not more. There is still anger towards it? I've let it all go. I'm ready to move on, and sure I know not to cross with those who left me feeling like downright shit, but it's over. It's done. Let it be.
As far as my father goes. I have the right to feel how I feel about it. There is no overreacting when your father has emotionally abused you for years, and still continues to. If only I could show you the texts. Damn. Who would be overreacting then.
It's been for certain seen that my father has Borderline Personality Disorder, as well as narcissistic qualities and some other thing, as defined by a professional. Well, that explains literally everything.
It is quite possible I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by my father.
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My Dark Rants
RandomThe world is changing every hour. The sun rises every morning. The moon takes its place every night. There is always a light in the sky, whether its sunlight or moonlight. But what happens when even on the brightest of days you cannot find the light...
