Host of Imperfections

Chapter 39

I never could count on my family for much of anything other than a soar throat or headache but I guess there's always a time for change and unity. I think Christmas had been the last gathering I was around both of my sisters at the same time and dodged all of the bickering. If you ask me it seemed like we were all dealing with our own issues at the time anyway so for my own personal reasons, I did the smart thing that Fourth of July evening and cut the visit to my parent's house short.

Swinging past the nearest convenient store on my way home, I picked up a carton of Edy's™ cookie dough ice cream to comfort my depression. It took everything in me to stay clear of the liquor store right next door.

I was honestly starting to think I had a problem and couldn't hold my own anymore. Thinking back on it, the last few times I'd sipped on anything- I ended up a mess not too long after and regretted my drunken actions the following day.

Kelly eventually called and cursed me out for leaving her at the club but turned the conversation right back around to a friendly one asking for all of the details. Thanks to her, I caved in and let Marcus take me out a couple of days later hoping I'd be able to see him in a whole new light. The same feeling's I felt for him in Miami had faded immensely and I couldn't see him as anything more than a friend but that didn't stop my mind from construing crazy ideas.

I had it all planned out to string him along and seduce him into making me feel better but that spiteful act fell through once I realized I had too much heart to just go screwing random guys to get over Jay. That wasn't going to do anything but add more drama to my life, especially considering the way Marcus claimed he felt about me. I didn't want to give him any reason to form aspiring thoughts of us actually being a couple any time soon after the first date.

After the second, he had me thinking otherwise.

Now Jay on the other hand was dead serious about this 'just friends' gist and I hated it.

He made it a point to call or text me everyday whether it was just to say 'Hi' or pitch an idea for the two of us to hang out. It took a minute for me to comfortably oblige with those thoughtful ideas and finally agree to hook up.

Over time, it was like we were still a couple that did everything but kiss and make love.

There'd been plenty of tempting moments but either one of us usually cracked down and changed the subject really fast before anything happened. That could possibly be the reason why I hated the new bond we shared so much. I had him back, but not the way that I wanted him. Whoever said being friends with your ex was a breeze lied straight through their teeth.

A month had passed since that dreadful drunken night at my apartment and while I was so busy choppin it up with Jay like we were old buddies or something, Marcus was still playing the outfield and portraying the good 'ol sideline friend that I kept in pocket for those nights where I wanted to be wined and dined romantically; he was just someone to cuddle up to and chill with on a more serious level when I wanted to play as an acting girlfriend.

I don't know how but I managed to keep my legs tight around him, the only thing he ever got from me was a kiss and that was rare in itself so why he felt the need to drop everything whenever I called was beyond me.

The funny thing is, it reminded me of how I had Jay wrapped around my little finger when we first met. That nigga definitely flipped the script on my ass real quick by the looks of it all.

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I'd just spent the entire Saturday afternoon running through Costco's and Party City helping Tarja pick up a few things for Malik's family gathering scheduled to take place the following weekend to welcome him home from the hospital. After an entire month of physical therapy to get his muscles back on track, he was finally set to come home. Of course Tarja was ecstatic as well as everyone else. I was just glad to know he was going to be okay. Motorcycle accidents were no joke.