Host of Imperfections

Chapter 48

After Jay left, I spent the rest of my Sunday afternoon moping around in self pity until this enraged cleaning frenzy came over me. I guess I spent so long thinking about how to make the situation right, I gave up and convinced myself to wish it never even happened. He hadn't even been there for more than 24 hours but yet I noticed him every where.

I was running around that place like a mad woman trying to erase every semblance of Jay from my living are, the bathroom and especially the bedroom. I smelled him on the sheets, spotted him on the rim of the toilet where he'd peed late at night and missed the target.

In the kitchen, some things were still out of place due to the fact that he attempted to make me this huge breakfast but settled on cereal instead.

Right after tossing that bowl of suddenly soggy cornflakes in the sink I threw on something more comfortable, pulled out that bucket of cleaning supplies under the sink and turned myself into this obsessively compulsive cleaning fool.

I scrubbed, rubbed, shined, swept, mopped, vacuumed any and everything that the task pertained to.

Washed the dishes.

Changed the sheets.

It wasn't until I ran out of things to do that I actually took the time out to catch my breath.

Unfortunately- no matter how much I cleaned, my life in general would still be a mess.

After sitting around unconsciously waiting for a phone call from a certain person, I got one from Kelly instead. I'm still not sure if it was just best friend instincts or some psychic powers she possessed and never told anyone about but whatever the case may be, she knew from the minute I answered the phone and said 'Hello' that something was definitely bothering me.

I didn't want to go in detail about it.

I was tired of burdening her with my issues and all of this was nothing but one big repeat anyway, not to mention- a blatant reason for her to say 'I Told You So.' It was hard telling Kelly things sometimes because even though she hardly ever said those four simple words out loud, I knew she was shouting it in the back of her head. I could just tell the way she looked at me sometimes.

Today, my confidence was already at an all time low. I didn't need that look.

I needed some good solid advice........a prescription...and an alter call because right about now those were the only three things that could possibly keep me from going completely crazy.

There wasn't much I could do to get out of it either when she told me she was on her way over. She wanted to go somewhere and have a girl's day out but I honestly wasn't up for it. Within the 20 minute time span I waited for her to arrive I tried conjuring up some excuse to get out of it but came up short.

"Well God-damn!" She scrunched up her face the minute she walked through the door and sat her purse down on the counter top. "Smells like straight bleach and pine sol in here! What the hell were you doing?"

I wondered if that was a hypothetical question or something. Didn't she know what those two solvents were for? A dry sarcastic comeback was the first thing that popped into my head. "I was sniffing it Kelly, whatchu think?"

"For some reason, I wouldn't be surprised.....crazy ass." She gave me the side eye and I locked the door before heading back to the sofa I had been glued to until she arrived. The TV was off and I had nothing but my thoughts to entertain me until now.

"Okay really, what is wrong with you?" High pitched but yet concerned she felt the need to straighten out a few picture frames I had sitting around. "You're talking like somebody told you the world is ending tomorrow and ..." she softened her tone a bit and looked at me. "No offense, but you look like shit.."