Host of Imperfections

Chapter 38

It finally dawned on me by the time Jay was pulling into the parking lot of my apartment complex that the rest of this night or shall I say morning wasn't going to be ending on a very good note.

I felt ten times worse and just realized I'd gone hours without eating before taking a sip of that first beverage. The number one rule in partying was to never drink on an empty stomach and I'd really fcuked up this time. I was starting to think I had a problem though to be honest. It seemed like every time I drank now, I'd sulk into these extremely depressed moods.

Jay had just finished parking when I felt my mouth watering and something in my throat forcing me to gag.

By the time he got out and approached my door, it was already open and I was leaning out of the car puking my guts out on the pavement.

I saw his shadow partially jumping back so he wouldn't be a target.

Heard him hiss and curse under his breath disgusted but yet concerned.

I was beyond humiliated and just flat out sick as a dog by then. The vomiting eventually stopped two minutes later. I had a feeling it wasn't completely out of my system though.

"You aight?" Jay asked taking a short step forward and helping me out of the car.

Cautiously, I managed to grab my shoes from the floor of his car as well as my clutch and get up with his help avoiding the puddle of mess I'd just made. Holding me up with one arm, he slammed the door shut with his other and guided me towards the building.

The liquor had completely soaked in and had me in a daze out of this world. I don't even remember taking the elevator up to my place or matter fact how he found my keys so quickly and had the door open.

The next thing I knew I was sitting on the bathroom floor next to the toilet, head hanging, and my back halfway against the wall.

Jay walked in just in time to see me diving for the toilet bowl again. He pulled my hair back and held it. "Hold your head up." He instructed in a hum drum voice pressing a wet wash cloth to my face.

I groaned mumbling something un-audible even to my own ears and turned my head the opposite way; pushing his leg.

I just wanted him to go away. I didn't even want him looking at me.

"I'm trying to help you Bee. Calm down." He spoke soothingly getting a better grip and sitting me up right.

God this was embarrassing. Just the thought of him helping me like this stirred some type of emotions up inside of me. Heading for the toilet again, I coughed and gagged until tears were coming out of my eyes. Snot bubbles and all, my whole face was burning and beat red I'm sure.

I felt Jay rubbing my back and heard him sighing- probably trying to figure out why I'd let myself drink that much in the first place.

Feverishly wiping my mouth with one hand and my tears away with the other I managed to stop upchucking and speak. "I feel like an idiot. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing."

"You hate me don't you?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "I don't hate you either. If I did I would've left you at the club like this."

A short glimpse of he and I arguing flashed in my head and I remembered what he'd told me. "What about what you said? ..you don't know about this anymore? About us?" I sighed and shook my head still letting the tears drip but refusing to look at him. I don't think I've ever been so vulnerable in front of a guy before.

There's always a first time for something I guess. Hopefully my last, this definitely wasn't a good look.

He grumbled running his palms over his face and standing up. "Come on." Blatantly ignoring my question at the moment, he held his hands out for me to grab. "I told you I didn't mean that shit right?" he finally answered stalling until I made it to my feet.