Another Shed Of Tears

A.S.O.T =17=

Claire POV

I followed Stanley until we reached the gym. He stopped in front of a wall then aggressively punch it. I back hugged him. Hindi ko mapigilan lumabas ang mga luha sa mata ko. Kitang kita ang pagtulo ng dugo sa kamay niya.

"For God's sake. Why is this all happening? Aish." He kept punching the wall and I keep pushing him away. I can't bear to see him like this while I can't do anything.

"Naiinis ako sa sarili ko. Naiinis ako na wala akong magawa. It's all my fault. I hate myself." Hinarap ko siya sakin saka niyakap. Niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit but what hurts the most is he's crying. It breaks my heart to see him crying.

"Stanley, please stop hurting yourself. It's not your fault. It's my fault so please-" suddenly he lift his head.

"It's not your fault, Claire. Kahit kailan hindi mo magiging kasalanan ang lahat." Pinunasan niya ang luhang kanina pa tumutulo sa mga mata ko.

"No, it is my fault. Kasalanan ko na nahihirapan tayong lahat. Kasalanan ko kung bakit unting-unti nasisira ang pagkakaibigan niyo. Kung hindi dahil sakin, hindi darating si Hailey. Kung hindi dahil sakin, hindi magagawa ni Ava na talikuran tayo." Yumuko ako habang patuloy pa ring umiiyak. Hindi maalis sa isip ko na ako ang may kasalanan ng lahat. Ng dahil sakin nasasaktan si Stanley. Ng dahil sakin kaya nangyayari ang lahat ng to.

Stanley lift up my head and wipe away my tears. Pero ako pilit ko pa rin niyuyuko ang ulo ko. Ayokong makita niya ko ng ganto. "Claire, please, look at me. " I slowly looked up and look at him in the eyes. "It is not your fault. No one is blaming you so please stop blaming yourself. Remember that, okay." Tumango ako saka pinusan ang mga luha ko.

Tama si Stanley, no one is blaming me so why am I blaming myself. What's more important is how we can survived until the end. 

***

It's been two months since that incident happened. Andrew and Ethan still ignoring the group and Stanley is doing the same. I know the others want to reconcile but I guess it is not yet time. Everyday is getting worst. Stanley and Nico are always by my side but when they are not hell is coming.

Hailey and Ava makes my life miserable even before. They make me missed class and did whatever they want me to do. During lunch, they throw me things to the point na hindi nako makakain so I always ended up in the garden. Whenever I walk around the campus, they call me names and such that I almost want to stop going to school. Even the monthsary that we wanted to celebrate, that we are supposed to be happy, always ended up worst.

Pero lahat ng yon tiniis ko. Tiniis ko lahat ng ginagawa nila for Stanley, for the group. Because I wanted to be strong so that they can be strong also. That one day all of this will stop.

Naglalakad kami ngayon ni Stanley pauwi nang hawakan niya ang kamay ko. "Everything will be okay, I promise." Then he smiled. "You always said the same thing." I also smiled back. Kahit papaano we still managed to be happy. We still managed to have positive thoughts. And we still have each other.

"I get it from you. You're my ball of positive energy. Even though things are worst as long as I'm with you, I won't give up." I nod in agreement. As long as we're together. Everything will be fine. "Just promise me one thing, Claire." Biglang nagseryoso si Stan kaya napatingin ako sa kanya.

"No matter what happens, I will always be here for you. I won't leave you." He look so serious na tipong parang may something sa kanya. Parang may mali. Pero binaliwala ko na lang baka ako lang nagiisip nun.

But a nightmare comes even worst. The next day bigla na lang hindi na pumunta si Stanley sa bahay. Hindi na niya ako sinusundo tuwing umaga. Hindi na rin kami nagkakasabay umuwi. Whenever I call or text him, laging walang reply or it is always unattended. Hindi ko alam kung ano na nangyari sa kanya. Kahit sa school hindi ko na rin siya nakikita.