Another Shed Of Tears

A.S.O.T =24=

Claire POV

I took a deep breath before I enter Ava's room. When I open the door, I saw her laying in bed while her attention is at the window. She looks at me when she notice me enter, and I saw her eyes avoiding mine. I walk directly to her side where the flower vase is. I stop in front of it and put it on the top of the table and after that I face her. "I brought you flowers."

"Thank you" Still, she hasn't look me in the eye. "So, how are you?" She moves her eyes looking for answers. I saw her tapping her fingers in her lap. And I can sense that she is uncomfortable and nervous about the situation and so am I.

"I- I'm fine. You?" She bravely look at me. "I'm barely hanging but yeah, I'm okay." And again she avoids my eyes.

"And Nico?" I see a depressed look in her eyes. And I never saw her with an expression like this before. She always have this smile plastered in her face all the time and when she got angry I can always see it in her eyes. But now that I'm looking at her, it feels like all of that is a lie like I never really know her at all. She's always good at pretending even before.

"He's good. He's always at the house every now and then. Checking on me."

"Like always." I look at her surprised. "He always has and always will be by your side whenever you need him."

It's true. We always have each other's back. But what I notice is that Ava always observed us and she knows every little detail about us but the truth is she never notices herself and everything that revolves around her. Including us.

"And same goes to you, Ava." She look at me surprised. "You've always said that no one stays by your side whenever you need someone. But we have always been by your side. Nico and I."

"It's easy to said that for a person who had everything and never have high expectations from her parents." I saw something in Ava eyes like I never seen before. I saw a glint in her eyes. Like she's trying to stop the tears from falling.

"True. I can never understand what you are feeling right now. Of what you have experience before. But Ava, I was there beside you whenever you needed me. I was a friend that you can always count on. You don't have to ask, all you need to do is just speak up. Let others know what you are truly feeling." She closes her fist and grit her teeth for the guilt that she's feeling right now.

"I know that I'm also at fault, if only i knew what you are going through and if only i realized it sooner. You and I wouldn't reach this far." I smile faintly. Reminiscing the past makes my heart ache. If only I could go back in time. I could've saved Ava back then. But right now, even just for a little bit im still hoping that i could save her.

Right now I can see how she suffered so much. I never expected her to be this hurt. I thought she's a strong person but now all I can see is how she acts so strong and hide this feelings all this time.

"How come it's easy for you to talk to me? After all of I've done to you? You must hate me, right now."

"It was never easy for me. I still get nightmares everynight. And sometimes I can't sleep at all. And yes, I hate you but I know that it will not set me free if I continue hating you. It hurts that you betrayed me like that but I still have Nico and I can go through all of that because of him." A speck of nostalgia came through me. It was hard back then but now I can laugh it off.

"Good for you, you have him."

"You also have him." I saw how suprise she is to what I just said. "You saw how scared he is for you that day. When you almost died. And here am I. I think that will be the best proof that you also have our backs. And you can trust us. Only if you will forgive yourself, the way I forgive you." She lift her head after bowing for too long. And the look in her face, confused.