My Other Half (Rickian)

Confession

We sat down on the couch beside each other in silence. The awkwardness was physically painful but at least he was willing to be near me.

"So... You're gay, huh?" I cringed, what a beautiful way to bring it up Kian. I was actually a little surprised he didn't already know. He had no clue. I could tell by how phased he was by it.

"Yeah, but it doesn't change anything. We're still best friends right?" This was my sneaky way of asking if he'd forgiven me. He chuckled.

"Of course. I guess you didn't actually want me to go help you pick up girls." He laughed, looking over at me. I nodded and gave a little smile.

"Or guys. There's just one person I'm interested in right now and I don't think you could really help with it anyway." Kian's eyes lit up. I'd forgotten that he enjoyed playing cupid almost as much as Jc.

"Do I know him?" He asked, a huge smile painted on his face. I ran my hand through my hair and shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess you do." He smiled diabolically. 

"Is it Joey Graceffa? I noticed the chemistry between you two in the mashed potatoe challenge." I laughed.

"No, and I'm not telling you who it is." He poked his lower lip out in frustration.

"But I'm your best friend." He said, leaning onto me. I was glad he wasn't looking at my face because then it would have been totally obvious. 

"I'm serious, Kian, I'm not going to change my mind about this."

"So he's in O2L then?" I tensed up. Kian must have noticed because he jumped up excitedly.

"Knew it! It's Connor, definitely Connor. Then again you always talk to Jc about your problems and you guys have quite the brotherly bond. Oh, please don't tell me it's Trevor. That's just sick Ricky, he's like nine." I rolled my eyes and shoved him before standing up. I stretched and started toward my room. I knew Kian would follow me, once he set his mind on something he was incredibly stubborn. 

"What color eyes does he have? Tell me that at least?" He pleaded, following me so close he was stepping on my heels.

"The gorgeous color." I laugh, starting up the stairs. I heard Kian's snort in frustration and gave a half smile. He really was so oblivious. I sat down on my bed, followed shortly after by Kian.

"This is going to bug me until I find it out." Kian complained, crossing his arms like a toddler throwing a fit.

"Why do you even want to know?"

"So I can help you guys hit it off."

"He's not even gay." I moaned, looking at him with the most annoyed face I could manage. He sighed and slunk down until more of him was off the couch than there was on it.

"Fine then, I won't tell you who I like."

"Kian, you just found out the woman you were going to propose to was cheating on you. You don't like anyone else."

"You don't know that, maybe I'm a slut."

"Don't even say I don't know that, I know you better than I know myself." I laughed, looking down at his pouty face. I swear he looked like a spoiled little angel sitting there. Why couldn't I look away? He's going to notice how long my glance has been lingering. I had to force myself to look away and even then I was left wishing I hadn't.

"It's me." He whispered, barely audible. I laughed.

"Definitely not! I've seen you so ugly I don't think I could even picture you in a romantic-" I paused when I turned my head. His face was an inch away from mine. I could feel his breath against my lips. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat but as I watched a wicked smile spread across Kian's face I knew it was too late.

"Really? Me? Don't you think you could do better?" He chuckled, raising an eyebrow at me. I didn't reply. I don't think I was even capable of replying. He pressed our foreheads together before continuing.

"Ricky, I'm so sorry but this-" He gestured between the two of us, "Won't ever go anywhere. Not in that was at least. But we will always be friends, right?"

"Mhya." I'm not sure what language that was or what word I'd intended it to be, but Kian nodded so it must have been an acceptable answer. Kian backed away and smiled at me encouragingly. 

"And don't worry, you don't have to warn me, I won't tell a soul." He vowed before casually getting up and strolling out of my room. I knew that was exactly what he was going to say, why did this still hurt so much? I managed to crawl across my floor and close my door just in time before I felt the first tear roll down my face. I clutched my knees to my chest and buried my face in them. It felt like there was a hole right through my chest. I grabbed the nearest thing, which happened to be a fan-made sign and chucked it across the room. I gasped, realizing just how hard it was getting to breath. I was choking on myself. Choking on my feelings for Kian Lawley. Choking on reality.

A/N: Hello, totally not related to the chapter but what are your guys' feelings on a sex scene? Do we want one? If so do you want it to be graphic or subtle?