This is for nutiknowenglishI'm so sorry it took me so long. I've been really busy between school and softball. I don't know much about the Blue Jackets or anxiety, so I apologize ahead of time. Don't forget to let me know what you think!
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"Markus, I really don't want to do this." I said, looking over at him as he pulled the key out of the ignition. The whole team plus their significant others were going to be there. Just the thought of meeting the large group gave me anxiety.
"You'll be fine, babe, it's just team dinner." Markus reassured me with a kiss on the cheek before climbing out of the car. I sighed and followed suit, finding my place at his side.
Markus knew of my anxiety, but he didn't know how bad it had gotten lately with the pressure to graduate increasing everyday it got colser to finals. I was cutting down my hours at work to cram in more study time. I didn't want to worry Markus while he was zeroing in on the playoff grind, so I opted not to tell him. The Washington Capitals had been the top team in the NHL almost all season and were the favorite to win the Stanley Cup, so the boys were pushing to get ahead of them.
Markus led me inside the fancy steakhouse where everyone was waiting. I put a smile on my face as I heard the chatter of large group. As soon as someone noticed Markus, everyone stood up to greet him with a hug. Luckily, they all skipped out on giving me a hug as well. Just having everyone around me was making my stomach churn and my heart rate speed up.
Markus and I found our seats in the middle of the table, making me more uncomfortable than I already was. They were all talking about their plans for the upcoming off-season and Markus quickly jumped in on the conversation while I sat quietly.
"Bri?" I snapped my head over to the feminine voice. All of the WAGs were staring at me, making my heart rate speed up. "Are you okay?" The brunette said. She was sitting next to Cam Attkinson, so I assumed she was his girlfriend.
"Oh, yes, I'm sorry I was just thinking." I replied, trying to mask the nervousness in my voice. What ifs were running through my head like a track meet. What if they don't like me? What if they treat me differently? What if they think I'm not good for Markus? What if, what if, what if.
All the pairs of eyes on me made my stomach churn and my throat feel like it was closing up. My breathing quickened and I grabbed Markus' hand under the table and gave it a squeeze to let him know what was going on. I picked up my phone to mimic an incoming phone call. I mumbled a quick I-have-to-take-this and headed outside. I sat down on a bench built into front of the building as my panic attack hit full force.
I tried to control my erratic breathing and slow down my heart rate, but nothing was working. Tears streamed down my face as it only seemed to get worse. It felt like hours before Markus finally came out, but in reality it was only a few minutes. "Bri, you have to at me." I slowly pulled my head up from my trembling hands and met his eyes. "Breath with me, babe." I concentrated on the rising and falling of his chest as he took slow, deep breaths. I couldn't seem to do anything to control it. It was by far the worst panic attack I'd ever had.
Markus pushed his lips onto mine, immediately making forget about my breathing. I kissed him back and got a little too lost in it. When he pulled back I realized my breathing was back to normal and my heart rate had slowed down. "What? How'd you do that?" I asked.
"I read somewhere that kissing someone stops their panic attack." I wrapped my arms around his neck and let out a deep breath.
"Thank you." I whispered.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made you come." He replied, rubbing his hand up and down my back.
"It's okay, I love you, Markus." I said as I pulled back. He brushed the tears from my cheeks and kissed my forehead.
"What do you say we go home?" I nodded my head and a light smile graced my lips. "Oh, and I love you too."
