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Love is a strange thing, you know? One moment you tell yourself that she's just another girl, and the next you're so in love with her that you can't even think straight, you can't even look at another girl without wishing it was her. That's how I felt about Y/N, she was the love that I never knew I wanted, or needed for that matter. I had never loved someone so much and I'm sure I never will.
That's why I wound up in a bar in Niagara Falls, drinking away the ache in my heart. It seemed no matter how much I drank I couldn't get her off my mind. How do you get someone that you spent the best years of your life with out of your head? You don't, so I picked up my phone and dialed the number I knew by heart. I was sure she wouldn't pick up, I was sure I would never hear her sweet voice again. But I heard her tired voice come through the speaker and my heart clenched at the sound of her quiet tone. "Jack?"
"Hey." I managed to gulp out.
"Are you okay?" She seemed more awake, more alert. I had heard that very same tone thousands of times before. She was worried, worried about me. I never once thought she would ever be worried about me again, not after I broke her heart, not after I walked out because I was a coward, not after I cheated on her.
I wish I could go back in time and realize just what I had, what I would lose. I wish I could take back that day. I will never forget the look on Y/N's face when the girl I cheated on her with came up to me when a group of my teammates and their significant others and I as we were doing some Christmas shopping. She slid up next to me while Y/N wasn't looking. I tried to create as much space as possible without gaining the attention of anyone. Y/N turned the corner of the rack of clothes and watched what she thought was just a fan interaction, but she had never been more wrong. "I had fun with you last weekend, we should make it a regular thing." She slipped her number into my pocket and kissed me before walking out of the store. Y/N disappeared around the corner and I chased after her only to be stopped by Sam, who had a look of displeasure on his face. I looked past him to see Y/N being led away by Danielle Okposo.
"No, I'm not okay." I mumbled, downing another shot.
"Where are you? I'm coming to get you." She said. I could hear the shuffling of clothes and other things as Y/N threw on an acceptable pair of leggings and a sweatshirt.
"I'll text you my location."
"Okay, I'll be there soon. Please just stay where you are and be safe." I wasn't sure if it was just the alcohol, but I could swear I heard a quick "I love you" before Y/N hung up.
I texted Y/N the address to the R 5 Lounge and drank a couple more beers while I waited. Soon I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Jack." Her voice sounded like a whisper over the noise level of the lounge. "Come on, let's go home." She said, grabbing my hand. I quickly paid my tab and let Y/N pull me out to her car. She Helped me in the passenger seat then got in the driver's seat.
"Jack, be honest with me. Are you okay?"
I sighed and shook my head. "No, I'm not okay. I miss you and I fucked up and I hate myself for it. You were, still are, the best thing that's ever happened to me and I ruined everything. I'm such a fuck up." I dropped my head into my hands as the tears burned at my eyes.
"Jack, no, look at me." Her small hands slowly pushed mine away from my face. "Don't you dare say you're a fuck up. You're such a wonderful guy, this is just a bump in the road. Things happen, it's okay." I could tell that she sincerely meant it, but it only made me feel slightly better.
"It's not okay, Y/N! I broke your heart when I promised I never would. I never wanted to make you feel like that, ever, but I can't explain what fucked up thought persuaded me to ever think hurting you was okay, let alone an option. I'm sorry, baby, I'm so fucking sorry." The tears spilt over my cheeks. Y/N quickly reached out and wiped them away.
"Jack, I'm sorry I didn't talk to you, I know I should have. I miss you and believe it or not, I need you." It was my turn to wipe the fallen tears.
"I love you so much, so fucking much."
"I love you too, Jack, forever and always." I pressed my lips against her for the first time in what felt like forever. I finally felt whole again, everything was right, the way it was supposed to be.
