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I sat at the bar with a beer in my hand. Chucky was on my right and Nate was on the other side of him. We had beaten the Maple Leafs in Montreal that night and went out to celebrate. We were laughing and having a good time when a whiskey was placed in front me. I knew I shouldn't drink it, but I also didn't want to turn it down and be rude.
I stared at the shot glass, wanting it to disappear. I had nothing against the alcoholic drink, but the memories that came with it. It taunted me, daring me to down it. I was gone before even I drank it.
Like slow motion, everyone picked up their shot and threw it back. The caramel colored liquid burned as it slid down my throat. Once I downed the first one I couldn't stop. Each time the smooth whiskey slid down my throat I could feel her fingertips brush over over my arm. I turned to see if she was there, but all I saw was the blur of the crowd.
I could practically see Y/N dancing around as I closed my eyes. It was almost like she was there with me. It happened every time I drank whiskey, every memory of her surfaced. I don't know why I put myself in that situation knowing exactly what would happen every time. But sometimes I did it on purpose, wanting to feel her touch one more time.
I could feel myself begin to miss her again and that was a bad sign. She didn't want anything to do with me. I was the one that ruined our relationship.
"Brendan, is it true?" Her voice was desperate, itching to get the truth out of me. I had an internal battle with myself. I had to tell her, but telling her would mean losing her and I wasn't willing to let that happen. The war raged on as I looked at her, tears glossing over the eyes I fell in love with. Tell her, don't tell her, tell her.
"Yes," I pushed out. Y/N turned away, and even though I couldn't see them, I knew tears were streaming down her cheeks. "I'm sorry."
"Why'd you do it?" I had never heard her sound so hurt, so broken. A pain rose in my chest knowing I caused this.
"I don't know, I guess she was there." I could visibly see her tense up
"Brendan, go to practice." She said eerily calm. That's when I was scared the most. There was no emotion present in her voice. I would have rather had her scream and yell at me, hit me, anything but emotionless.
"No, if I go you'll leave and I'm not letting that happen. I'm not losing you." I had to stand my ground to show her that I loved her despite my cheating actions.
"God damnit, Brendan. Just do this one fucking thing for me. Just go to practice, okay?" She turned around and I could see she was emotionally drained. I wanted to stay and fight for us, but she needed time and I gave it to her.
I placed my hands on her cheeks and pressed my lips to her forehead in a loving gesture. "I love you." She just simply nodded as I backed away. I grabbed my keys and headed to optional skate, or more like mandatory meeting and optional skate.
I couldn't pay attention to anything Coach Julien was saying about our upcoming game against the Bruins. I was hoping and praying Y/N would still be there when I got home, but my hopes were short lived as she -and all of her things- were gone when I returned.
Slipping away from my place at the bar, I headed outside to escape the noise. I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed her number. Even drunk, I knew her number by heart, I couldn't forget it and I hoped she hadn't changed it. I pressed the green call button and put the phone up to my ear. It begun to ring, which was a good sign. One ring, then two, then three, and four. "Hello?" Even after almost a year of not hearing her voice, I knew it was her. She answered.
