Dark Paradise (Camren)

Close to you (38)

NOTE: For a better reading, when I point out during the chapter, listen to the song "Close To You" by Rihanna, and then, when I point out again, listen to the song "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails :)

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POV Camila Cabello

*(Play song – Close To You by Rihanna)*

"I want to break up with you."

"What?"

"Lauren, please, don't make this any more complicated for me." I said, feeling my throat knot.

"You're joking, right? Because if you are, it's not funny at all." Lauren said, running her hand through her hair, she was impatient.

I got up from the seat and closed the car door, silencing that damn song.

"Lauren, as much as I like you... As much as I love your touches..." Lauren swallowed hard, listening to me in silence. "As much as being close to you today makes me feel good..." God! I couldn't look at her, she had a bittersweet sadness in her eyes, the green gleamed from afar. "As much as-"

"I told you that I loved you, Camila."

"I know, but-"

"No, shut up! Camila, I told you that I loved you, do you get that? Do you have any idea when was the last time I said I loved someone I was in a relationship with?"

"Lauren..."

"Never! Did you know that I've never wanted to be in a relationship with someone other than you?"

"You didn't date alone, you weren't alone in this, I also wanted this, Lauren..."

I wanted to disappear, I wanted to kneel right there and burst into tears. This was so damn hard.

"Crazy as fuck, huh?!" She said, laughing humorlessly.

"We were never going to work, Lauren, we don't have a future together." I approached the brunette who took a step back, making me sigh.

"I... I opened up to you." A few tears were already falling as she gestured with her hands.

"You trusted me and you can alway-"

"Exactly, I trusted you." The brunette wiped away the tears that insisted on falling. "I should have never opened up to you, I'm such a fool."

"Lauren, this has nothing to do with you trusting me, you'll always be able to trust me."

"Of course it has, today you were super affectionate, and I don't usually like that, but I was enjoying it, I accepted your affection, and all for what? To end the night like this? You're not trustworthy." Lauren wiped away the tears that fell down her face and look up at the sky, taking a deep breath.

"Lauren..."

"No!" She motioned for me to shut up, still staring at the sky, with her hands on her waist. She was trying to pull herself together.

The brunette turned her back to me, with her hands still on her waist, and time or another I saw her wiping the tears that insisted on falling.

"I feel so grateful to have found you." I said, and Lauren turned to face me.

"You made me a better person, you showed me a side of me that I didn't know, Camila." She laughed humorlessly. "Because believe it or not, I haven't had many references of love."

"I want you to find someone." The choked sobs in my throat were killing me.

"I don't want to love anyone else." The brunette had controlled her tears, and she put her hands in her pockets. "I still love you and I don't know what to do with that."