Claudia Styles Dirty Little Secret

I Need A Wish Right Now....

I Need A Wish Right Now….

Claudia’s POV

The minute Nath left, I felt cold and alone again. I hated this feeling, but I guess I’d have to get used to it. 

I sighed, swinging my legs off the edge of my bed, and standing up. I was still a little shaky and woozy, I didn’t know what, day it was, how I got here, why I'm here, what had happened, or how long I had been here, but I was starting to remember why no-one was here,

The fight with Ryan, he had told all the boys everything, mostly lies but of course they didn't know the truth so now they hated me... mmm great.

I smiled at the view outside my window, I’d always had the best room in the house, it faced the backyard, but more importantly the gorgeous garden that sprawled out a fair few Km. 

Surprisingly the weather was quite nice for Manchester, it was sunny but there were big, fluffy clouds in the sky.

I stared blankly up at it as an aeroplane went past, I sighed, running a hand threw my messy blonde hair.

“If only that plane was a shooting star” I whispered to myself, while running a finger lightly over the violet tulip petals, that were left on my window seal. 

Can we pretend that airplanes

In the night sky

Are like shooting stars

I could really use a wish right now 

I sang as the tears started to flow, why was this song so relevant to my life right now… what happened to the days when everything was easy, I wasn't scared to go outside, I didn’t have to worry about someone following me, I could depend on the lads being their if I needed them, I could enjoy and afternoon just laughing and being stupid with them. I could openingly kiss Louis and know he’d kiss me back. 

But those days were gone, just a distant memory in the back of my mind, I’d really screwed up this time and the worst part is they didn’t even know the full story.

As I kept repeating the lyrics and singing the verses the tears kept falling, it wasn't till felt arms wrap around me that i stopped singing.

“Claud, what’s wrong?” Nath whispered in my ear, as he picked me up from the sun bed and carried me back over to my bed. “Your not suppose to be out of bed please don’t do that again miss” He chuckled, climbing in next to me as I placed my head on his chest.

 “Why are you being so nice to me Nath?” I whispered, while absentmindedly playing with his shirt. 

“Because no matter how angry I was with you I’d never let that get in the way of your health Claud, none of us would and thats why the lads and I have non-stop being by your side” He chuckled running his hand threw my hair. 

“You know, I don't remember when I was on the cliff but I do remember thinking when I jump no-one will know or even care” I paused chuckling to my self.

 “And I realise what I did was wrong, all the lies they were my fault, but I did it to protect everyone and in the end no-one got to here the truth. When i close my eyes I keep seeing  the look in their eyes, disappointment, disgust.” 

 I wasn’t anger, furious, upset, annoyed or anything like that. I was disappointed, heart broken. 

** * 

 I never did end up telling Nath exactly what happened, I told him the reasons Ryan lied, the truth about Rose but I didn’t tell him the history I had with Ryan or Sam.