Glen told me he had to go to the studio for abit leaving me with ruby we baked buns and painted rina called in she'd obviously been informed by mark or glen about what happened she was shocked but agreed I didn't look nearly six months pregnant she thought what glen had said was out of line but could see what he meant he was in shock too I told her something had changed he wasn't there when I needed him and she pointed out I had pushed him away this morning when he'd tried truth was I was scared to even think about the baby growing inside me incase he was snatched away from like our little girl was I needed him to tell me it was going to be ok he came home about 3 ruby rushed off to show him her paintings and the buns we'd made he put the kettle on and sat down at the kitchen table next to me ruby climbed onto his knee telling him all we'd done today "dada eat bun" "I'm gonna do with a cup of tea" he told her "yay tea dada" ruby loved tea just as much as her daddy I got up and made us all a drink glen took one of the buns ruby had helped make "wow that's so good" he told her I just looked down at my tea I couldn't look at him "you should go rest" he told me "I'm fine" "I'll see to ruby go rest" "I said I'm fine" raising my voice "don't pretend you care" "ruby go play" glen told her she didn't need telling twice "will you go bloody rest liv or do I have to carry you upstairs" "I'll go after this" "mark said rina called round" "yeh she did" "he said she was shocked she didn't even notice you were pregnant" "well I I didn't even know how would anyone else" "I know I didn't mean what I said liv I know you'd never keep it from me it's a shock were gonna have another baby in a few months" "how do you think I feel I didn't even know there was a baby growing inside me I've been hammering it at the gym running round after ruby and planning a wedding I'm scared I've hurt him" "they said he was fine liv you didn't know sweetheart he's gonna be ok" "you don't know that" "no I don't for sure but whatever happens I'm here liv don't push me away" I nodded "I'm scared its gonna happen again" I told him the tears finally falling "I know I am too but we can't think like that we have to be positive" "I know" "we need to think about his room and buying stuff for him he's gonna be here before we know it liv" "I don't know if I can buy anything for him" "we have to liv he's gonna be fine" I rubbed my tummy even though there wasn't much to rub "we should cancel the wedding for now" I told him "the stress if it all is too much right now" "that's fine I'll start cancelling it tomorrow" "I'm sorry" "you don't have anything to be sorry about liv all that matters is yours and the baby's health right now" he told me leaning over and grabbing my hand
