That's What I Thought | s.m

Chapter Eight

c h a p t e r  e i g h t.
t h a t ' s  w h a t  i  t h o u g h t.
m e l o d y  r e a g a n.

s o n g:  s u p e r m a r k e t  f l o w e r s  (a t  t o p)

Shawn and I were in his car driving to this mysterious place that he was so eager to go to. We sat in silence the whole way, no radio, no nothing. But it was a comfortable silence, and not those awkward ones you would expect after what just happened.

"Here we are," Shawn smiled

He had pulled up to an empty play park, it was pretty cute, I had to admit

"Why'd you bring me here?" I questioned

"Because nobody comes here anymore, it's been abandoned for a few years, I thought it would be a good place to talk," he shrugged, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips

I nodded before following Shawn towards the small swings and sat on them, each one at least half a meter apart, as we sat, I contemplated how I was going to tell shawn what happened, without breaking down or having a panic attack.

"We can sit here for as long as you want. Whenever you're ready you can tell me," he smiled, and I returned it. I couldn't leave him waiting any longer. Sighing, I swung lightly on the swing and prepared myself

"Dylan and I used to date. He was my first boyfriend, and we'd been together for two years. He was the love of my life, or at least that's what I lead myself to believe.
February the 5th, last year, I had just gotten out of a pretty bad argument with my parents, and usually when that happened, I'd go to Dylan, as any girlfriend would, and he'd help me. So I phoned him but he didn't pick up, and every time I call he always picked up. Being the worried girlfriend I was, I drove to his house. Let me just say, that due to our long term relationship we would just walk into one another's houses without knocking because that's what we agreed on, you know?" I started sniffling, trying to push back the tears that threatened to spill. Shawn took my hand in his, softly rubbing his thumb over the top of my hand, and nodded, gesturing for me to continue

"So I walked in and looked all around the house but couldn't find him anywhere. His parents weren't there either, so that made things even worse, because I thought he could have been hurt or even something more serious. While looking in the living room I heard noises and footsteps from above, which was Dylan's room. So I grabbed his dads golf club and slowly crept upstairs. Then I heard different noises, moaning. Lowering the club I slowly got closer to his door, which was partially open, and I saw-" I choked up, the words burning my throat, unable to come out. Shawn hugged me closely, giving me a sense of security, "I saw them, she was naked and taking off his trousers, and I couldn't take it anymore, I was so angry that I opened the door and shouted at him, to show him how much he hurt me, but he looked at me angrily, and said-" I stuttered, taking a deep breath, I continued hesitantly, "he said, he'd rather lose his virginity to her than me." I was crying uncontrollably, the tears pouring out of my eyes like a waterfall, as all the memories I tried to erase from the year before came flooding back, my heart breaking all over again with every word, remembering that awful day.

"He's an asshole for doing that to you, you deserved so much better than him Melody. You deserve somebody who would give every second of their time to you, somebody who'll take your broken heart and piece it back together again." he whispered, his large hand caressing my cheek, "He doesn't know what he's missing. You're amazing. You deserve happiness, and to wake up every day with a smile on that beautiful face of yours, to wake up feeling loved and needed," he wiped away a few tears with his thumb and smiled at me, "Because, if I'm being honest, when you're happy I'm happy."

I grabbed his hand in mine and kept it on my cheek, holding it there for a moment while he held my other hand in his, swirling his thumb over my palm. I haven't felt this comfortable in a long time, but I can't help but feel like I don't deserve it, that it's not real, as if I was imagining it.