That's What I Thought | s.m

Chapter Thirty-Seven

c h a p t e r  t h i r t y - s e v e n.
t h a t ' s  w h a t  i  t h o u g h t.
m e l o d y r e a g a n.

My head was pounding and my palms were sweaty as I threw up into the basin beside my hospital bed. My stomach was churning as Shawn sat beside me, stubbornly as I'd already begged him multiple times to go home.

"Shawn. I'm not pregnant! You can go home," I smiled, shaking my head as he but his nails nervously

"But how do you know that? God, we should have used protection, I knew it. Holy shit." Rubbing his hands down his face, I reached over and held them

"The doctor said I'm not while you were at the toilet, I'm okay, really. It's just a bug," The relief passed through him in seconds as he looked up at me, his eyes filled with hope

"Really?" He pleaded, in dire need of conformation

"Yes, really." I smiled, "Why don't you want a child anyway, I mean, I know we're young but apart from that?"

"Melody, bringing a child into the lifestyle I'm - we're - living right now would be disastrous, the baby would be the target for everything and I'd never forgive myself if something were to happen to them," His tone was calm but his eyes were showing disbelief that I'd even asked that question

"I understand." Nodding, I lay back in the bed and closed my eyes, trying to take my mind off of the queasiness spinning around in my stomach.

"I love you." Shawn stated, breaking the silence and grabbing my hand, placing a small kiss on it

"I love you too." I smiled, wishing I could pull him in for a kiss but knowing if I did, he'd get sick too, and I didn't want that, and I'm sure he didn't either. "How is everything at the warehouse?"

"It's okay, we've moved the location to a more private area and hopefully it won't be found, not for a while at least." He was tired, I could see it in his eyes, he wouldn't leave me, no matter how hard I tried to make him go. I guess this is what he meant when he said he wouldn't, and I'm forever grateful.

"Shawn, babe, you need to get some rest and take a shower, I'll call up Harriet to sit with me until you get back, I'll be okay." Shooting him a small smile, I brought his hand to my lips and placed a gentle kiss on the top of it. "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine, get some rest!"

"Are you sure? I really don't want to leave you, and I can stay, it's really no-" Cutting him off with a chuckle, I placed my finger to his lips

"Go," I urged, lying back down onto the bed and closing my eyes, "I love you," I smiled to myself, opening one eye to see him staring at me

"I love you more, beautiful." Pushing myself up, I gave him a hug, as tight as possible. Even though he would only be gone for a few hours, I'd still miss him like crazy. Kissing the top of my head, he grabbed his jacket and headed out the door, closing it before walking down the corridor.

The room already felt more lonely but I was glad to get it to myself for a while. Grabbing my phone, I sent a quick message to Harriet before lying down and closing my eyes, feeling myself drift off to sleep as the queasiness in my stomach began to settle.

"Beautiful." I replayed Shawn's voice repetitively in my head, my smile widening as I imagined his chocolate eyes staring into my own, filled with love and adoration. My love for him grows each day, and will only get bigger.

He really is the love of my life.

s h a w n m e n d e s.

Opening the door, I stepped in and locked it behind me, throwing my keys into the drawer at the front of the house, along with my wallet and phone. Slipping off my shoes, I kicked them under the stairs as I wandered into the kitchen and grabbed myself a glass of water. My throat was as dry as a drought and I didn't want to go back to Melody without being able to speak.

Washing the glass and putting it back, I padded up the stairs and grabbed some pj's. Slipping them on, I lifted my covers and closed my eyes, imagining my life with Melody in the years to come. Our kids playing around the house, I'd be out of the business of violence and settling down with my family. We'd be living a happy and healthy life, with no problems, no worries, no difficulties.

But even I know that isn't possible.

After what felt like hours, I woke up, feeling beside me at the empty space . I missed her here with me, beside me every morning, it felt too lonely, but she'd be back soon, I just had to be patient.

Slipping into the shower, I washed all over, taking my time, thinking about how she made me feel and how her smile could light up my world, she's all I could ever need. I'm so lucky to have her in my life and I wouldn't change her for anything or anyone.

After I'd finished showering, I jumped out and dried myself off, shoving on a pair of grey tracksuit bottoms and a black shirt before chucking a pair of shoes on my feet and grabbing a hoodie. Opening the drawer with my keys and wallet, I took them out along with my phone and a piece of gum, closing it afterwards. Opening the door, I stepped out and locked it once more before driving to the florist closest to the house.

Walking in as the bell chimed, I walked around, admiring the flowers of all different shapes and sizes when my eyes landed on the bunch of white and pink roses sitting alone, as if they were waiting on me. They looked like they'd just been freshly bunched and all their leaves held their colour perfectly. They were exactly what I needed.

"I'll have these," I smiled at the cashier, something I did rarely, but considering recent events, I was in a happy mood.

"That'll be fifty," he responded, smiling back, "These for a special lady?"

"Very special," I took the money from my wallet and passed it over, taking the flowers from the bench

"She's one lucky girl,"

"I'm the one who's lucky," I chuckled, turning my back I shouted a 'thank you' and walked out of the shop. Slipping into the drivers seat, I started the engine and backed out of the lot.

Turning on the radio, Ed Sheeran's 'Perfect' played through the speakers. The song filling my ears with love and happiness as I was going to see the love of my life, and although she may be too weak right now to leave the hospital, when she's strong enough I can't wait to make her the happiest she's ever been.

Pulling into the hospital parking lot, I stopped the jeep and jumped out, flowers in hand, ready to give them to her. But before I could, my arms were fastened from behind as a baseball bat came swinging at the side of my head, knocking me unconscious.

My last thought sent a telepathic message to Melody, one she would never hear but I could only hope she knew something was wrong.

"I will never leave you."