That's What I Thought | s.m

Chapter Ten

c h a p t e r  t e n.
t h a t ' s  w h a t  i  t h o u g h t.
m e l o d y  r e a g a n.

s o n g:  a  l i t t l e  t o o  m u c h 
(a t  t o p)

"Dylan?" Shawn shouted shocked, "No offense or anything hun, but why would he save you if he's been telling you in school to... you know-" he cut off looking down, sighing and tensing his muscles.  Looking back up at me, his jaw clenched, "It just doesn't make sense,"

"Well if I tell you the story you have to promise me that you won't interrupt and you'll listen to every word.." I squeezed his hand lightly, to let him know I was ready

"I promise." he nodded in reply and took in a sharp breath

"Okay," I shifted myself in my seat so my legs were crossed and my seat was a bit further back, this was going to take a while. Still gripping his hand, I turned to face him and began to recite what happened that night.

"It was last year, just a month or so after what happened with Grace, and I was walking along the bridge in Oak Hill to clear my mind. I had nobody, Shawn. No parents, no family, no friends, nobody." I sighed, he nodded slowly, giving me a slight smile filled with sympathy, "I had stopped to look over at the river, contemplating why I hadn't chosen to end it all already. Tears were slowly trickling down my face as I watched the ducks and birds play peacefully around me. I wiped my tears away and decided that it wasn't worth it, and if I did it my parents wouldn't be proud of me, and never would get the chance to be.

"So while I was walking away, just before I stepped off of the bridge I heard a loud snicker coming from behind, now I know what you're thinking, but it wasn't Dylan. It was Grace, her and her friends had been watching me the whole time, laughing and giggling while those awful thoughts were spinning around my head. They walked up to me once I had noticed them and spat in my face, literally spat in my fucking face, shouting at me to go 'kill myself' and 'jump in front of a bus' as it would 'benefit everyone and not just myself'." Shawn took his hand from mine and pulled it round my waist, although the car wasn't as big as I'd expected, he always knew how to make me feel comfortable. Smiling at him, he intertwined our fingers once again with his free hand and brought my hand to his lips, kissing it slightly, a small smile danced on my lips as I looked at him in awe. Focusing my attention back towards our hands, I tucked a small strand of hair behind my ear and continued telling my story.

"They shoved me a few times, Leaving me with just a few bruises and scratches, but that wasn't what hurt the most. I hadn't done anything to them before, I haven't betrayed them, I haven't said anything about them behind their backs, I haven't even given them a reason to treat me this way. So I've given up wondering why they do it.

"I sat down on the bench once they'd left and cried, before realizing that leaving would be the best option. As I stood up, about to leave I heard my name being called by that familiar voice, over and over again like a broken record, "Melody! Melody! Melody!", constantly nagging in my ear, screaming at me to turn round. Yep, you guessed it, it was Dylan. I turned round for a moment to glance at him, and turned back round to face the opposite way when I saw how close his presence actually was. He couldn't of been any further than a couple of meters, I started to walk on, pretending I didn't hear him, when I felt something cold hit the bottom of my leg, his water bottle. He was out for his evening run." I took a deep breath in, searching for the right words to explain what happened next,
"He threw it at an extreme force, making me topple over into the ground, quickly getting back up, I saw he was closer now, so I grabbed his water bottle and threw it over the bridge into the river to distract him, I mean, he could always buy a new one. I was about to run when he grabbed my arm and pressed me up against the bridge.

"Get it." he hissed at me, I shook my head and he started to slowly press me further against the stern wood behind my back. I knew there was no way he would go through with it, but boy was I wrong.

"He pushed me further over the bridge and I slipped, losing my balance. I fell over the bridge and was hanging on the edge of it. The thoughts raced through my head, Dylan could just play it off as if I'd finally cracked. I had nothing to live for Shawn, I just wanted all the pain to stop, all the frightening thoughts that would bubble through my head each day when I wake up, I wanted them gone, I wanted it all to be over. So I let go. As I fell into the river, I hit the water hard, causing me to fall into unconsciousness, but the next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital, alone."

"So, you've tried to... end it.. more than once?" he asked me, his face filled with sympathy and hurt

"I don't want you to feel sorry for me, Shawn, I just want you to see me for me. I've done things in the past I'm not proud of, but I don't want to be treated differently because of it, if I want to get close to you, I want you to know all of me and not just little snippets," I smiled slightly at him, looking up at his defined features, he was, and is, truly one of the most beautiful people I have ever laid my eyes upon. He wrapped me in a warm embrace, kissing the top of my head. Resting my head in the crook of his neck, I thought about how safe I felt with him, as if we were untouchable and nothing could break us apart. He made me feel alive when inside, I was so emotionally broken, he made me smile when I thought that I would never smile again, he fills me with hope when I feel like giving up. Without Shawn, it scares me to think about where I would be now.

If he hadn't enrolled at Oak Hills College, I might not be here right now, and that's what scares me the most.

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edited

another chapter! thank you all so much for over 100 reads! i'm so happy people are noticing my story! thank you so so much guys!