That's What I Thought | s.m

Chapter Eighteen

Melody Reagan.
I could hear him. He was blaming himself. Damn right he should be, it was his fault. But it was my fault for falling for a monster. I couldn't help it, his beautiful eyes reeled me in, his gleaming smile brightened up my dull world. His features like the sun to my dark nights. He made me happy, but he also made me broken.

"I love you." His words repeating over and over in my mind. If he loved me, why did he do this to me?

"I didn't ask for this to happen," His voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I tried to reach for him but i couldn't move, my eyes wouldn't open, my body was numb. "I told them not to hurt you, but they didn't fucking listen," I could see him, his head down, he was holding my hand, but i wasn't in my own body. i saw my body, it was lifeless, it looked like i was dead, but i wasn't. What was happening?

"Shawn.." i whispered, moving closer to him, but he didn't move, it was as if he couldn't hear me, as if i wasn't there. Placing my hand on his arm, his head shot in my direction as i jumped back, his expression confused as his blotchy red eyes turned their gaze back to our intertwined hands.

"I need you to wake up for me Melody, i'm sorry for everything i did to you, for all of it, i thought i wouldn't develop feelings for you, i thought you were the same as all the other girls, just wanting to get in my pants. Boy was i wrong. You're different, and i know all boys say this to the girl they've fallen in love with, but i really mean it. When i saw your scars, and how much it hurt you to keep going, i thought, 'wow, this is the strongest girl i've ever met'," he brought his mouth down to kiss our hands as he sucked in a breath through his teeth, shaking his head, a small tear fell down his cheek as it dropped on my lifeless hand, "and i broke you." his voice cracking, he let out a shaky breath as he lifted his head to look at my body, "God, in such a fucking idiot. It should be me in this position right now!" he cussed, gritting his teeth in frustration

Realizing my cheeks were wet and the tears were falling down fast, i didn't move to wipe them away. He cared for me, but he still brought me to that awful place, and starved me, abused me, and he has the audacity to tell me he loved me. I can see that he does, i just don't know whether it'll be worth all the hurt.

"I'm going to kill him." he spat

"What? Who Shawn?" no answer, he couldn't hear me, "Shawn who are you going to kill?!" i tried to shake his arm but it wouldn't budge

"He's going to wish he never laid a fucking finger on you." his eyes grew dark

"Shawn stop! You'll regret it!" i screamed, trying my best to pull him back as he stood from the chair

"Ill get justice for you, for the both of us," he stated, turning on his heels and walking out the door

"I have to stop him! Wake up! Wake up you piece of crap!" i screamed at my lifeless body. Shit. Turning to sprint out the door to see where he was, i was pulled back by a strong force. Was i waking up? Holding onto the door frame i tried my best to stay stuck. Feeling myself slip, i gave up and let go. Knowing if i held on any longer, the force would grow stronger.

Opening my eyes, i was relieved to find myself back in my body, the pain sprouting up my legs as i frantically plucked the wires from my body, once they were all off, i weakly stood from the bed, balancing myself on the chair Shawn had once sat on. Shawn.

Scurrying past the nurses, i tried my best to walk as fast as i could to the elevator, hoping to beat Shawn before he left. Ignoring the nurses calls for me to return to my bed, i pressed the ground floor and watched as the doors closed. Hurry the fuck up. I mentally screamed at possibly the worlds slowest elevator.

As the doors to the ground floor opened, i sped past the people waiting for the lift, as i looked around for Shawn. Turning around, my head felt dizzy as i tried to find him. My eyes blurring in and out of focus.