compare scars

twenty

The following Monday Dan was back to school.

On the first day he looked for Kyle. Before school he went into his room only to find the room empty.

During lunch he waited in his car, slowly eating his meal, waiting.

Finally after school he waited in his classroom, grading assignments, looking up very few minutes.

Finally after an hour of waiting, Dan finally left.

Once Dan got home he waited for the knock on his door. It was almost a daily thing, as they lived five minutes within each other.

Still though, there was no knock. No staying up into the morning hours holding with laughter. No sober nights spent making stupid videos with Kwow and Pauly D.

He had never felt so empty. His glass wasn't even half empty, it was just empty.

Still though, that night Dan only drank enough to get by, and started the waiting process the next day.

---

"Hey Dan can you look at this picture? I can't decide if I should turn up the contrast or not." Matt asked, waiting for the teacher's response.

He looked to the teacher, watching as he was zoned out. Under both of his eyes were swollen purple bags that made him look like he hadn't slept in months. His hair was slicked back like always but looked greasy, like it hadn't been washed. In total he looked like he had been having a rough week.

"Dan?" Matt asked a little softer.

"Oh shit haha sorry I zoned out there. What's up?" Dan asked feeling as his cheeks heated up with embarrassment.

He had been zoning out more. It was just that he couldn't sleep. Dan felt stupid, but the nightmares had gotten worse, the other side of the bed empty. To make things worse, he hadn't been drinking himself to sleep, sticking with a very minimum amount of alcohol. Just in case Kyle came by.

"Are you okay?" Matt asked him, making him feel uncomfortable.

"I'm fine. What was it you wanted?" Dan asked him, annoyed. It wasn't even any of Matt's business.

"Dan are you alright? I don't wanna be mean, but you look like you haven't slept. Do you wanna talk?" Matt looked at him, his gaze making Dan get mad.

For the first time in his teaching career he was truly mad. Deep down he knew it was from the lack of sleep, and Matt was truly just concerned. But he pushed down those thoughts, and let his angry side take center stage.

He quickly uncrossed his legs, and stood up on the wooden table.

"Listen up!" He shouted to the quiet classroom. Suddenly all the students turned his way, their eyes wide.

"We're going to sort some things right now. I'm your teacher. You will all call me Mr. Smith. We aren't friends. That means I don't care about any of you. And in return you don't care about me. I'm done! You don't understand I am so fucking done with all of this, with all of you. So no, Mathew I don't wanna talk."

He then hopped down from the table and instead of sitting cross cross on the table, pulled up a chair and sat down.

"Anyone have any questions?" He asked, watching as they stared at him, mouths hanging open in shock.

"I'll be back." Dan stated, storming out of the room, and out of the school.

He quickly found his car, and opened the glovebox. In it he pulled out a bottle of vodka, unscrewing the lid. Dan then filled up an empty water bottle, screwing on the lid.

Within five minutes he was back in the classroom sipping on the bottle, the room silent. Nobody knew what to do. The normal lively atmosphere of the room had been ripped away. Normally it was filled with the sound of music playing through the speakers and students quietly laughing with each other.

The only thing that remained the same was the decorations. The tapestry and Christmas lights served as a reminder of what had been.

That was the day he died. The day that he accepted Kyle was gone. And most importantly the day he gave up.

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Hahah that was a terrible chapter I'm sorry