compare scars

thirty six

"Daniel." Kyle's heart was beating like crazy inside his chest. It had been almost two months now, and he was starting to finally get used to life without Dan.

"Um, hey." He blushed, awkwardly standing in the doorway.

"Come in."

Dan followed him into his apartment, closely studying it. He picked up the few frames filled with pictures of the couple and smiled.

"Sit." Dan instructed, pulling something from his backpack. Once it was out in the light Kyle could make it out to be the cheap vodka. The kind kids in college would use to get shitfaced and party.

He could help but feel uneasy watching Dan take a sip before offering him the bottle.

"I shouldn't." Kyle chuckled, and watched as Dan just shrugged and drank more.

As the two got to talking though, the drink became more and more attractive. And within an hour the two men were drunk on five dollar vodka.

"Come here." Dan smirked, and Kyle did just that.

Once he got close, dan pulled him towards him, roughly connecting their lips. It was like nothing he had ever seen before. His normally calm and quiet Dan was rough, painful almost.

"Stop." Kyle muttered, pulling away. But Dan wasn't letting him leave. Instead he grabbed his wrist and painfully tugged him forwards.

"I know this is what you want."

Kyle shot up, his body covered in a layer of sweat. The dream felt so real.

The two month mark was approaching in a few days, and his "new and improved" self was slowly losing hope. In the beginning he was excited.

Excited to go back to his old self, show Dan just how much he meant to him. But each day he drifted further from that excitement. Every day without him seemed to drag on.

The only positive was his job. It wasn't nearly like when he worked across the hall from Dan, but besides that, it was pretty incredible. He befriended the drama teacher, and together the two went out almost every Friday after work.

One night while the two were out, he saw him. He was sitting in a cafe with Charlie, the two watching some video on a phone. That night he could feel the familiar pain in his chest as he watched Dan tilt back his head and let out a laugh. It was a scene he had missed so much.

That was the first moment in a while that he wanted something to subdue the pain. But he would never ruin his sober streak as long as he had a chance.

---

"I just don't know. What if he's dating someone else? I'll look so stupid just showing up at his doorstep." Dan's voice was quiet, careful to not let anyone else here him.

"Daniel I've told you a thousand times, do what you feel is right. If you think what you're doing is that, then do it knock on the fucking door." Charlie's voice on the other end made him chuckle, his free hand nervously tapping out rhythms on his leg.

He softly knocked at the door, listening as he could hear someone walking to the door.

"I just knocked, I'll see you later."

Slowly the door opened, the familiar face looking at him in disbelief. For a moment it seemed as if the whole world was paused.

Finally after almost two months he was face to face with the man who seemed to never leave his thoughts. Good and bad he ruled every single one.

"Oh my god."

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I think this is gonna end in like five chapters if that's okay. I feel like this book is so fucking long