Reasons I Can't Forget You

Chapter XXXIV: Half Empty or Half Full

POV: Char

Mike has been in rehab for the past month. My brother who was so perfect, suddenly took a turn for the worst. It turned out that his new girlfriend got him way too into alcohol and marijuana. I guess one night he partied too hard, got arrested, and now he's here. I don't know for sure, I've only listened through closed doors. I know a lot more than I should have though.

It was awful to see Mike like this. He used to be my parents golden boy, and now he was another druggie on the street? It made no sense. It was true that I hated the pressure to be just like my overachieving brothers. But annoying and overachieving was better than this. Almost anything was better than this. This was tearing apart my whole family, it was causing me to overreact at things I shouldn't take the wrong way. It was a shameful secret looming over my head.

We had found out about this the day after thanksgiving. Mike hadn't come home, and we didn't know why. Then we got the call from the police. My mother had instructed us not to tell people, it was a shameful secret for the family. I didn't care about that. I just wanted my brother back, no matter how intolerable.

Tommy had become even more reserved. He had taken it upon himself to be the perfect child. It took pressure off me, but I needed him. I felt like he was just a robot, locked inside a human body.

Mike didn't look much better since the last time I had seen him. The drive and passion had left his eyes. Now he just looked tired. There was none of the overconfidence and cockiness left. It had all vanished, leaving his own empty shell. The difference between Mike and Tommy was that Mike didn't even have a robot left. It was just...nothing.

"Char," Mike held open his arms for me.

I hugged him, not daring to cry.

-You have to be brave.-

My father patted Mike on the back, then went to talk to one of the attendants about how he was doing. We knew this was a strange case, they had told us most people weren't this unresponsive.

I forced a smile, "How have things been going?"

Mike sighed, "Char I hate this, all of it."

He was the most cooperative with me, I had been told. Me, of all people. Maybe it was because now he could relate to me the best. I was the different one in our family. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"Living. Char, it feels like it's not worth it. I'm not happy anymore, never am. Being here doesn't seem to help, it just makes it worse." He stared blankly at the ground.

I wanted to scream or cry, but I couldn't. "Mike, just you have to give this a chance. Your life is worth living!"

He turned away from me. That meant he was done talking. He didn't like what I said, so he shut me out. This happened every time. The tricky thing was, I never knew when it would happen.

My father came over to us and whispered that it was time to go. I gave Mike a kiss on the forehead and he hugged him.

When we got in the car, I began to cry quietly. "He told me he doesn't think living is worth it."

My dad nodded, "On top of all this he's been diagnosed with major depression."

The rest of the ride was slow and quiet. I only had one thought swirling around in my mind; how could this happen?

POV: Seth

It felt good to be friends with Avalie, especially on Christmas Eve. It was pretty cold out today, if you consider forty degrees cold. I know, I know. But hey I live in Mississippi so my ass DOESN'T have to freeze off.

-So did she really mean it when she said she didn't like you after all?

Does it matter? I don't like her!

You sure about that?

YES!-

Christmas had to be my favorite time of year. Things never seemed as hard. This year we were going to celebrate with Avalie's family. I knew that would be good for my mom. And truthfully I wasn't ready for a Christmas without my dad. We hadn't seen him since he signed the divorce papers. He was still sending child support checks, but it wasn't like those would last much longer.

~~~

We showed up at Avalie's with a gift for everyone. My mom had bought almost everything, I didn't even know what she got. I had gotten Avalie a little something, though.

Her Aunt Elle was there with her kids. Eve looked a lot like Avalie. When I looked at her I saw Avalie from when we were that little. It made all the memories come back to me. There was the time we dared each other to eat dirt. We would sled down any snow pile we could find, there was never a boring day. Remembering all this I knew one thing, I could never lose this girl.

Avalie loved her present. She was cracking up, I had bought her a giant green sour path kid off of amazon. It was huge!

"Seth! This is perfect!" She was laughing so hard, she nearly fell on the floor.

"Glad you like it!"

"Okay now open yours!" She handed me a badly wrapped box.

I chuckled, "Wow, when did you learn to wrap like this?"

"Shut up!" She shoved me.

When I opened it I was pretty surprised, "The soccer shoes I've been wanting! How did you get these?" I knew they were fairly expensive.

"I found a sale!"

When all the presents were done, we ate snacks and sent Eve to bed to wait for Santa Claus. I had been afraid this Christmas would feel empty, but it seemed fuller than ever. Avalie's laughter filled he room, making the whole room seem warmer. I hadn't expected this to be my favorite Christmas.

Sorry this was late! I've decided to update more on my own schedule! But I promise I won't keep you waiting TOO long! Well happy valentines day! (Even though it's Christmas time in the book!) What did you think of Char's secret? Did you expect it? Vote and comment pleeeeaaaase! Votes, comments and reads keep me going!

-cc