I've been taken

Old memories

I rock back and forth On the bed, staring at the door. At least, that's what I've been doing for the last hour or so.

Once again, He violated me. I feel disgusting. I feel like a whore.

Worse, My body betrayed me. My body felt good. But I didn't. I know better then to trust my body. My mind though, My mind knows what's best for me. And It sure as hell isn't Him.

God, just thinking about Him ever coming back..And touching me again. I shiver and wrap my arms around my cold body. I sniff and then loose myself in thoughts.

What would have happened if I hadn't left the apartment.

Well Its not my fault some creep decided to fucking snatch me up!

Its a free country, People should be able to go out without getting kidnapped.

But where would I be now If I hadn't gone out..

I'd Most likely be sitting at home, Watching chick flicks...And eating some good fucking chocolate.

I'd be trudging around my apartment,being myself. Living my life that I was Destined to Live, The way I Wanted to live it. Not The way this guy wanted me to. Not with him ruling over me, Telling me how I act and what I do.

Because I don't want to spend my life like that. I was born on earth for a reason and It sure as hell wasn't To sit as a fucking captive in a dirty room with a Perverted, sick, Mentally disturbed, psychopathic, Guy in the other room who uses me as a toy When He feels like it.

I mean, What was the point of him kidnapping me if every time I make him mad He either Hits me and Leaves me in the room, Or just leaves the room Leaving me starved for a good couple days. Either way when I piss him off He disappears and I never see him for awhile.

He's like an old husband, Like the ones I used to watch on t.v.

The wife and husband would fight and The husband Would say "fuck it." and He'll just leave out the door,not giving the wife any details to where he's going. Most likely some tramps house, My guess. Im not saying me and him are a couple,though.I'm just giving examples. And I don't  give a fuck where he goes to , I love when he leaves. It's like a glorious break from god himself. But then again,I don't get fed and That's a down side to the whole 'Him leaving' Thing.

I mess with the hem of the comforter,and then Hum to myself out of boredom.Sometimes I get really bored here.Scratch that, I'm always bored. I Lift my dirty hands and pull my Grungy hair back. I probably look like a homeless girl.

I here Heavy footsteps then the door opens. I let go of my hair and It cascades around my shoulders, My hands fall to the bed and I whip my head to the side,Seeing Him standing in the doorway. I Hold back an eye roll.

"Here's your food."He says plainly Setting the food on the bed.

Ever since I tried to escape, He has been bringing my food up to my room.

I then build up my courage and ask what I've had on my mind For the last couple days.

"Um..After I eat,Can I Take a shower..Or ..something?" I say staring at my fingernails and all the dirt under them.

I hear shuffling then I look up and see him heading out the door, back faced to me.

But before He shuts the door, He pauses and Mutters " Yeah, ten minutes."

When The door finally clicks closed I Grab the food, And shove it in my mouth, Smiling the whole time. Im finally gonna get an actual Shower!

A shower!

People might have found this weird, Thinking it's just a stupid shower, But you Try not taking a shower for a good three weeks. It's hell.

Ten minutes later He comes in with a towel And I jump up, Going towards the door, Supposedly  a Little too fast for his liking, Because He grabs my arm, Making me jerk back. I Hide The scowl on my face as he leads me down a hall and then through a door.

The bathroom is clean and normal looking As He throws the towel on the toilet seat and Then Turns, Leaves and shuts the door.

I Sigh in Happiness as I strip of the dirty clothes And turn on the shower, Feeling the temperature warm up.

I close my eyes and hum to myself as The hot water pours over my body, In all the little curves and creases. I scrub my hair through with some shampoo I found.It smells fruity...And I snicker at the thought of him using this.

I finish washing my body and then step out, Grabbing the white towel and Tucking it over my body securely. Then I notice I have Clean clothes on the toilet as well.

God, He's quiet.

How the hell did he manage to do that?

I brush the thought off and drop my towel, Then put on the Grey shorts and Black t-shirt.

The t-shirts a little baggy, But the pants fit Good. I then find myself wondering how he got clothes that fit me. God..He's super creepy If he went out and bought me clothes...I shudder and the Dry my hair, combing it through with my fingers. Satisfied I reach for the knob and Tug. Confused I stare at the door, Then stupidly Remember He Locked it.

So, As Retarded as I feel doing this when Its a goddamn bathroom door and I want out, I knock on it and say ,"Uhh, I'm done?"

I wait for a moment and then it opens .

I step out only for him to grab my arm. Its really starting to get annoying, But I go along with it anyway In fear of getting hit. He leads me back to the room and I die a little inside Having to come back to this room,  just to stare at the same dirty four walls again.

He opens the door, nudges me in and shuts it again. I turn just to gape,open-mouthed at the door.

Really?

This Room is dead. I'm dead.Not physically, But I basically am. I mean, I have no life. I'm inanimate.

I huff and trudge back to the way too familiar bed, Then flop on it, Going through old memories.

Tears build up behind my eyes as I remember my old life..The one where I was free and I had my family..

That's all gone now. I have nothing, and I am nothing. I'm like a rag doll to this guy and He loves it. He loves that he's in control of me. This is sick. This is all just sick. His way of living is disgusting and if he thinks for a second I'm going to go down without a fight, He's surely mistaken.

Because Emma Is a fighter.

And I will fight to the end.